Death's Shadow

Lasciate Ogni Speranza Voi Chien Trate
2001-12-03 02:55:45 (UTC)

The death of Me, Death's Shadow

I had a brillent idea, amazingly enough it came to me in
the shower, I should stop feeling sorry for myself and for
all that goes around me. Many people are like me I realize.
Just lost with nothing but a few parents that think that
they are the best parents and nothing can possibly go wrong
with their children. I complain about me this and me that.
I should go back to my life as mearly an observer. It was
so before I can to this wretched town.
I was the quiet observing child that everyone thought
would go crazy soon or would become a brilliant genous in
given time. I told the truth all the time in those days.
The perfect teachers pet. In those days no one cared what I
did for I quiet and did not care about anything
and oh too perfect for the teachers. How I remeber the
first time I cheated on purpose. Sad enough for you? Here
is another sad fact. The first time I cheated on purpose
was in I belive fifth grade. Oh so sad. It was on a test on
where the states where located. Couldn't get that New
Hampshire correct...
But now I wallow in self pity. I am such a sad and
stupid wretch I am. Can I not see that I am not the poorest
little idiot? My life is so good compared to yours or others
in most cases. What do I have to complian about?
So for today atleast I will try not to wallow in self-pity
too much or at all. A hard thing for a human I would say.
Never thought such a brilliant idea would come to such a
stupid and nieve person myself. I will give up after a few
hours or so I bet in my mind. I can not last on such a hard
task for I am stuck in a pretty deep pit of self-pity...

This is why I will close this journal. All I do here is
pity myself. I need to resurect a new life based on truth
and freedom of self-pity. I wish to be the observer once
more in my life.