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2001-12-03 01:19:21 (UTC)

The Beginning

well this is the first entry in this journal although i've
been jouranling since fourth grade. silly shit i'd love to
burn because it's so embaressing....
i told my parents i'm pregnant yesterday. i thought they'd
freak but their surprisingly cool about it. i don't know if i
want to keep the baby or give it up for adoption. Lee
told my parents we'd give it up. that sort of pissed me
off because it's like he suddenly desides thats the best
thing for us. i am considering it. i've even contacted an
agency over the net but i'm not sure i want that yet. part
of me really wants to keep and my parents said they'd
support me on the descion. i think Lee wants to keep it
too he told me he wants kids before but he said that
because he thinks thats what my parents want to hear.
he said i'd love to raise a child with you but we're not
fiancially stable yet. very true, but he's not hte one that
has to carry it around for nine months go through the
pain of giving birth and then just say good bye to the
baby and possibly never see it again after all that. that
just makes me cry. i should talk to him more about it
but sometimes i have such a hard rtime just saying
what i need to say...

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