ThunderStorm

2 December 2001 7:03 pm

I'm tired today and there's an ache in my stomach and arms
that seems to stay with me quite often. I went to Bro.
Welles' church this morning and enjoyed it-at least it
stimulated my mind/intellect with stories and situations
from the Bible. I'm not all that religious, hell, I'm a
sinner, what with letting some girl get nude for me on her
webcam today, my habit of masturbation which I loathe. I'm
in a peculiar situation regarding women. I lust after them
as sex objects, but never give them a chance to know me or
I never want to get to know them. It's weird. I haven't
had a date in 4 years, not since college and seriously
doubt if I date again if I live to be a hundred. But who
knows? I dread work tomorrow simply because I don't like
my job, but I am saving some money and hopefully Insteel is
just a pit stop for me. I need to get out more and meet
people my age, but that's hard to do seems like. Mom is
doing quite a bit better, so that's good.