2001-12-03 01:05:58 (UTC)

I know you're right

It takes a lot for me to build up the courage to get close
to you: to touch your arm, to brush up against you, to tell
you something i wouldn't normally. It takes a lot for me to
do stupid things like walk all the way out on the soccer
field just to say thank you. It takes a lot for me to build
up the courage to have physical contact with you. And every
time you shoot me down, it takes so much more strength to
get back up again. and every time you shoot me back down, i
fall harder.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. i am dying inside. i'm starving
myself and i'm being forced to give up the only thing that
matters to me only because you're scared. you are so afraid
of leaving everything you know and you're trying so hard to
convince yourself that everything here isn't worth it. well
chris what are you gonna do when you get there and you see
that everything is overrated? you think maybe you'll miss
the only person that will ever care for you this much? no
one else will EVER come this far for you again. you would
think that someone would want that, but i don't understand
you because there is going to be someone one day who will
tell you you're stupid for not realizing one of the best
things that will ever happen to you.

you are right though. i hate you so much for not being my
boyfriend. but i hate you even more for not taking a

you don't realize that every time you shoot me down, you
push me farther and farther away. and you don't understand
that the farther away you push me, the farther away i'll be
when you need me.