my weight struggle
2001-12-02 14:15:15 (UTC)


I still feel fat but can see a tiny bit of progress, well i
hope it is progress anyway. My jeans feel a little bit
looser round the waist, but they are still too tight round
my thighs and over my bum. However i am hoping that i have
lost a little weight and it is not just coz i havent eaten
much today.
When Britney Spears was on tv last night i was almost sick
with envy at her body. It's so perfect. So maybe i have
lost a little bit from my fat belly. im not even close to
her yet which is so depressing. I dont think i'll ever get
that flat. I have a pic of her where she is wearing a
little top that shows off her flat tum to perfection, which
i look at a lot to remind myself how i could be if i hold
back from eating so much.
I'm trying to not eat for 12 hours or more, and build from
there. It#s amazing how much i eat just coz it is time to
eat, like 12.00 you have lunch regardless of if your body
actually needs it. I am learning that at least 50% of the
time i am not hungry, i am eating only through boredom or
coz everypne else is.
And that is what made the extra weight pile on. I have to
get out thatpattern so that by xmas i have a really lean,
sexy body. Well, it prob wont be but if i can be a bit
slimmer than now then id be happy.
I#m still aiming to lose that excess stone i mentioned
before, because it is unnecessary flab on my body. Makes me
feel so ungainly when i want to be all taut and toned. I
dont want wobbly bits esp on my tum and my thighs.
I cant let the weight i have lost creep back on, that is my
main worry. As long as i keep my calorie intake as low as
poss and keep up my exercise routine, then I should be
okay, as long as i dont gain. To lose would be great but i
cant gain. I want to lose more off my tum but also a bit
from my thighs, and i was talking about my bum. Because I'm
small I look fat because all the extra weight shows. I dont
have the frame for it.
I'll keep trying and hopefully have some more luck. The
jeans i have on are loose anyway i think, the real test is
another pair that normally the zip goes down when i sit
down because of my spare tyre. When i can keep that up then
i know i have lost a little weight.