2001-12-02 07:03:47 (UTC)


Well since I haven't written anything in here for a while I
guess I should even though nothing new has really happened.
I only have one day of classes left, then exams start.
(Ick). Still nothing new with those girls who used to be my
friends so I guess no news is good news in that regard.
I'm also sure that the guy i sorta thought was cute before
knows about it which isn't cool. I mean, well he's not
being a dick or anything but it's still embarassing.
Went to the bar last night, got basically ignored by all
the guys there, which was ok i guess cuz it's a pretty
slimy bar and guys are all jerks anyways.
I'm so pessimistic. But it's true. I know so many scuzzy
guys it's not even funny. It gives you no hope. 90% of the
guys I know are just slime. Like seriously I can think of 3
guys who aren't related to me who aren't slime. Grr.
Very little hope for the world. I think I'm gonna go back
to that plan where I have a very stressful job doing
something that will save the world, and I wont have time to
be lonely and then the stress will kill me by the time I
have to retire so I don't have to live out the last years
of my life depressed and single.
My little sister even has a boyfriend. but he's decent. so
that's cool.
My friend's ex is stalking her, that's not cool. She's
going to the police this week to get a restraining order.
I still don't know if my ex is going to be at my school
next semester when i go back, a mutual friend asked him and
he never replied to the message. So who knows. I hope he
doesn't though. School is tough enough without having to
see him around all the time. At least right now he doesn't
know that I'm still single nine months after he dumped me
and like 4 months since he's been going out with the new
girlfriend. akk.
why am i so undesireable?
Well actually what I said before isn't true. He probably does know
that i'm single cuz he hasn't heard anything otherwise since that
bitch tells him stuff about me I think... she hangs out with him and
stuff. But he just doesn't KNOW for sure. But he probably would once
he started going to my school. Sure it's a university but it's not
very big. AND I'm pretty sure he'll try to make small talk with me
and if he says anything about it, it's not like i'm going to be
pathetic and LIE, saying that I have a boyfriend he's just not around
lots cuz he's like, a professional athelete or something ahem ahem
vince carter. No. I'm not that shallow. And I have never planned on
doing something like that. ...
So yeah. I don't need him a) feeling sorry for me or b)thinking that
he's superior or hot stuff or something and that he can move around
from treating one girl like shit and using her and then just move on
to someone else, while the old girl can't find someone else to take
man i'm depressed tonight. I just hate so many people that were in my
life last year at this time and who have been total shitheads to me.
Like really. I'm not a mean person. I don't treat people badly but
for some reason a rather large number of people have taken it upon
themselves to wreck my life. I hate them.
I think I should change my user name to Bridget Jones.