Faerie Onyx

Tis The Faerie
2001-12-02 05:50:16 (UTC)

I did it...

I cheated on my boyfriend. I was at the Battle of the
Bands, and I was sitting with this guy that I know (who I
thought was gay), and I ended up sitting on him. Later, we
were dancing together, and I turned around and put my arms
around his neck, and we stayed like that for a few songs,
but then during like the fourth song, he kissed me, and it
felt so good to be kissed that I didn't object or
anything. During the first band that played, one of my
friends took me to go find my boyfriend becaus she had seen
him sitting with one of his friends. He just looked at me
like I was crazy because I looked more gothic than I had in
a while, and then looked away. During intermission he
left, and I had to hit him on the back to even get him to
notice that I was there. He was leaving, and all he said
to me was, "oh... hi..." No kiss, no hug... no nothing.
I'm really depressed right now, and I don't feel like I
mean anything to him anymore. So, I guess, I justify my
actions with that horrible excuse. I feel bad about it,
but I also think that he deserves it for how he's been
treating me, and I also deserve to be treated like I
matter. This guy treats me like I actually mean
something. But then why do I feel so bad?