2001-12-01 23:22:51 (UTC)

first day

So, this is really a first for me. I 've never kept a
diary before. Let's see, I'm 22, Canadian, I have a
career and a fiance.

He seems to be my troubles right now. He is constantly
pestering me about money or about how I keep my house and
now its all about my procrastination over going to the
gym. The truth is I never had to before. Now, I've put on
a good 20 pounds and it aint giong away on its own. What
it boils down to is I'm scared shitless to walk into a gym
and start on some machine that I don't know how to use....
I know I'd feel like a fat fool. Then I'd leave, cry
myself to sleep, and never go back.

I really am scared to go. He doesn't seem to understand
that. He's all athletic and stuff, yeah, well I curl.
(It's the sport for the fat alcoholic middle aged crowd, if
you didn't know)

I have to talk to him....I just don't know where to start.