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I Want to Walk in the Open Wind... I Want to Talk Like Lovers Do...
Yesterday was relatively uneventful... Maria and I went
here, there and everywhere, after which I came home alone,
where I ended up being surrounded to the point of
claustrophobia by my Mother's side of the family, who were
all here for my cousin Chickie's (real name being Lillian)
birthday party. She's a cute little thing, when she's not
whining like your characteristic 4-year-old. I did
appreciate being able to see two of my other cousins,
however, Allison and Ashely. I never see them enough
anymore- Allison is 11 months older than me, Ashley 3
months younger, and we all grew up as sisters. (Well, they
ARE sisters, but you know what I mean.) Up until I hit
freshman year, rarely did a day pass without us seeing each
other. I used to know them better than I did my own sister.
And the odd thing is, I think if the three of us weren't
related, they would hate my guts and I would avoid them
like plauge. They've never had much tolerance for my kind
of people, the kind of person I am, and they probably would
have treated me the same as my worst enemies in school had
we not been tied by blood. Don't get me wrong, it's not as
though we only like each other because we have to. It's
just that they know me in a way they don't know all the
people of my mannerisms, musical tastes, styles of dress
and ways of life. I've tried to teach them that- "well, you
know, this person could have grown up with you, and then
maybe you'd understand them.Why don't you try?"
Maybe one day, this will work.
Anyway, we've planned a Let's- Pretend- We're- Still- Six-
Years- Old movie night for next weekend... Rainbow Brite,
The Fluppies, Fern Gully... all the ones we knew by heart
in grade school. I imagine it will be a little different
now though- being as we're all now nonvirgins with boobs
who swear and poke smot. Oh, and I don't recall
chainsmoking in the third grade either. But I am looking
forward to it- it has been way the fuck too long since the
three of us girls have done anything together.
After my family left, Mike, Jon, and Ethan came over,
and we went to Blockbuster. The ride there consisted of an
utterly vile conversation spawned by an admission from
Mike, which I will not specify lest he slaughter me.
Suffice it to say, I associate with some sick, sick
depraved individuals. I love my own kind!
We ended up renting Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,
which I recommend to anyone and everyone. To give Jon
credit, he chose it, and totally redeemed himself for
the "2 G's and a Key" piece of crap he picked out last
time. It is definately on my must-buy list.
Everyone left around 1 or 2 am, despite my shamless
pleading with Jon to stay. It just me feel really good to
be acting the same way we always used to, like nothing
negative has ever happened. He said he had to leave because
he didn't trust himself to not do anything. I told him I
wouldn't let that happen, but he wouldn't buy it. And I
can't rightly say who was right about that. Can't say I
blame him for not believing me. The thing is, though: if he
doesn't give himself an oppertunity to have to behave
himself, then he will keep believing that he can't. But
hey, to each their own. I miss being held by him, nothing
more, but that happening is up to him. I begrudge him
nothing for anything.
Oh yeah, something groovy: Jacob is, tonight, according
to the Kitty Kat, moving the last of his stuff back from
Haverhill to Somersworth. We got Jacob back! Hooray!!
Well I must go, Kat is picking me up any minute to go
out with Steph, Robin and Jess for a "girls' night out". I
shall report later. Peace yo.
Music: Running Down a Dream, by Tom Petty and the