epikivel

Shards
2001-12-01 06:12:43 (UTC)

I Rock, and that's it

I learned how to waltz today! William taught me in the hallway of the philosophy
department. It was harder than I thought, and it took very much concentration.

Before the dancing episode, William took me all over town look for nice formal
shoes. I couldn't find any worth spending money on that would be comfortable
enough to dance in, so tomorrow we're taking a road trip to get him a tux and me
some nice shoes.

He always makes me feel so good about myself when we hang out. Even
before we got together today, he came in the shop while I was working and he
left, and I watched him take a few steps, turn around, and he poked his head in the
door and said, "You know, I'm really going to miss you when you're gone", and
left. I sat there and happily shed tears for a few minutes. It just touched me. It'll
be nice to be home again, but I will miss here and I'll miss him and my friends.

We were talking about words and language use, after I said the sentence "The
laughing indicates the not seriousness", and when I revealed that my favorite suffix
is "-osity", he gave me a hug and said that's what he's going to miss...On the way
home, I don't even remember how it came up, he was talking about Steph, Jon,
and I, and he said "You're so interesting, I can't pin you down", and immediately I
looked at him and said "Then don't". I loved the look on his face, I just loved it. He
tried to change the subject and started to laugh, and said he was trying to ignore
what I'd said, but he couldn't, I had totally caught him. I really didn't understand
though, why try to pin people down? People are so complex, you can't truly
categorize people or you'd be ignoring parts that make them individuals, parts that
make them unique, and you're basically just completely disregarding the idea of
each person having his or her own identity. It's virtually impossible not to expect
that people are apt to make premature judgments, or stereotype people upon
meeting them, but one must not base how they will treat others on a first
impression. First impressions will never cease to exist, but will become less
important as people learn to discard them and not base anything on them. That's
not what William had done, I just wanted to rant, because it's a subject I feel very
strongly about. When you take people and stereotype them or label them, not
only is that bad for you because it proves your ignorance and inability to be
flexible, it's bad for the person psychologically as well. When everyone labels a
girl as the shy girl, she is going to feel she must fulfill that role and will have a harder
time opening up to people than she did before. It is a vicious cycle.

My example to him was this: If I meet a thousand people wearing purple hats
that fuck me over, obviously I'm going to become wary of people in purple hats.
There is nothing wrong with people wary. There is something terribly wrong,
however, if being confronted with a new person in a purple hat, I did not treat them
as well as other people, and acted mean to them before even getting to know
them.

William is one of the smartest guys I know, and also probably the guy I know
most in touch with his feminine side while still being incredibly masculine at the
same time. It is a wonderful combination. Anyway though, I hold him in high
esteem and value his opinion, so when he admits to me he is wrong about
something and tells me how "awesome" I am for making him see, that makes me
feel pretty damn good.

Then I ruined it, when he asked if I wanted to come to an art gallery with him and I
said "Sure, if you don't mind". No matter how much I know someone likes me or
enjoys my company, I still have a hard time presuming that people want to spend
time with me. Hopefully that is something I'll grow out of. I think he complimented
me more tonight than he could ever know. He reestablished to me the fact that I
cannot be defined, which I love. No one can, so simply. To truly understand a
person you'd have to literally get into their head, and therefore you should never
presume to know someone no matter how long you've known them.

The art gallery was fun, the artwork was exquisite, and it was nice to have a beer
with very intelligent company and be the only one there that wasn't legally allowed
to have one. I met cool people and saw cool stuff...all in all it was good for my
senses.

Fun Quotes of the Day

Steph: How do you know it was the burrito? You ate two cheeseburgers.
Jon: I only ate half a cheeseburger. It was gone. When I relived it, the burrito
remained!

Jon: I was really out of it this morning. I picked my nose...IN class!


That's all I can think of right now, but this day was so funny, I had such a great time.
I am so tired though, and I have to get up early for road trip. Early to me is nine
o'clock. I am going to write an email to my boyfriend quick and zonk out, he wrote
me a long email today and it was sweet and I miss him! I'll be home soon. Home
is where he is, wherever that may be.