mark my words
2001-12-01 06:10:06 (UTC)

slightly depressed...

Okay, I'm majorly depressed. Tonight was supposed to be
the best night of the year so far but it just so totally
wasn't. It was Cotillion... I've been looking forward to
it forever... and it just sucked compared to how I wanted
it to be. It sucked no matter how you look at it.
The night started out good enough. I got my hair done
really cool... it went back in twists, then was a bunch of
curls and braids all pinned up. I sat in that
hairdresser's chair for two freaking hours, enduring so
much pain as she pulled hard at my hair, then pushed bobby
pins directly into my scalp. I went home... I did a quick
but good makeup job... I got dressed... I looked really
good. So I get to Lindsay's a half hour late, and Bill and
Mike are sitting there looking hot as hell. Bill was
wearing sort of gray flannelly linen suit and his thick
chain. The boy is fine. Mike was all dressed up too, and
he'd shaved his goatee. Lindsay looked absolutely
gorgeous, but as she always does was obsessing over
something completely pointless. I was like, "You look
fine..your mascara doesn't make you look retarded... your
hair is perfect...your dress isn't too loose... your purse
isn't grandma-like..." etc, etc, for fifteen minutes
We did the corsage-pinning and the picture-taking and all
that shit. It took Lindsay about an hour to get Mike's
little flower thing on, and since it was taking me even
longer, my mom just did it for me. That made me feel
completely stupid... then my mom goes, "What's that on your
chest? Are you breaking out in hives?" I look down at my
chest and it was all blotchy red. I was freaking out so
much that I broke out in hives... luckily they went away
Then we went over to Christina's and met up with... Andrea,
KE, KC, Ryan, and Matt. They took a million more pictures
and finally we left.
The dance started out fun... then I remembered... I can't
dance. For my life.
It got to the point where Bill didn't want to dance with me
because I have no rhythm. It's horrible. I have grinded
with tons of guys in my short life but none actually tried
showing me how to do it.. then Bill did. I was so
embarassed. We did that thing when he goes on the floor
and I was supposed to be on top of him grinding up on him
and I didn't do it right. I FELT SO HORRIBLE ABOUT
MYSELF!!! This was worse than the night two weekends ago
when I got really drunk and told him I loved him, because I
was stone sober at this time.
Then, Lindsay came up to us and was bitching about how ugly
she looked. Since she does want Bill I was like, "Dude you
look gorgeous. Doesn't she, Bill?" Being the nice guy
that he is (cough) Bill had to go and say, "Lin, it's
true. If you weren't Mike's girl... well... you never
know..." and he gave her this look. I could have curled up
and died.
Bill was my date but I didn't expect him to be at my side
nonstop. He did good enough, I guess, whenever there was a
slow song he grabbed me. But he danced with every other
girl there at least twice. And his on-again, off-again ex
was there, and she was singing "Put It On Me" to him.
And to top it ALL OFF, KE was being a complete psycho. For
the last few months, she's just been acting so weird. She
does these crazy stupid things to get attention, and just
makes a complete ass of herself. She'll flip out at random
shit for other people to hear, she'll publicly display
herself, she'll be a huge bitch, etc. And she kept coming
up to me and trying to dance by rubbing her huge ass up
against me. I was just like, "Chill..." and she'd be
like "DON'T tell me what to do!" I can appreciate how hard
it is for her to have to hang out with Mike and Lindsay,
plus all her old friends, but she's not going to make
people think more highly of her by doing that. One small
example.. she sat down in a chair by a fan and completely
spread her legs. She was wearing a tiny see-through
thong. Her dress blew up and over, she was spread eagle,
and you could see EVERYTHING. I ran to her and was
like "Kristin... close your legs..." and she flipped out
and insisted she didn't care. WHATEVER FLOATS HER BOAT.
Basically, Bill didn't talk to me all that much. My night
sucked. And to make it even worse, while everyone is
sleeping at Andrea's house tonight, I had to be back by
12. That really sucked because everyone was having a good
time and I had to leave the party early. All day I'd been
planning on just forgetting about my curfew and sleeping
out, but when the time came to it, I just wanted to come
Now I'm really sleepy. So I'm going to go to bed now.
Good night
random edit- we were all at this kid's house after the dance, and
Bill was sitting in a truck being DJ. The best song ever, Led
Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven", came on. Bill looked at me trying
to get my attention because I always play that song for him. But I
pretended I didn't see because I was extremely pissed at him at the
That's all :)

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