2001-12-01 00:19:39 (UTC)

i type hard

my mom is drinking again.
of course.
and here is sit.
watching her.
listening to her.
doing nothing.
disappering into my little computerized world.
typing angry and fast
whats wrong ashley
nothing is wrong.
talking about what is wrong.
wont change anything.
soo why
why do you even ask.
its been so long
and nothing can change her.
i cant change her.
i cant help her.
and shes killing herself
with every fucking swallow.
and im sitting.
im sitting here.
you cant help everyone ashley.
they have to help themselves.
but what happens when they dont.
and its my mom.
my mom.
not just some friend.
not just some fuck.
its my mommy.
the most important person in my little pathetic life.
and there is nothing i can do for her.
but sit here.
sit here and say
nothing is wrong
because thats what she needs to hear.