Dirty Fractyl
2001-11-30 13:38:41 (UTC)

all my life...

I am so thankful to be fortunate enough to have someone in
my life that forgives me when I mess up. I did something
wrong, knew it was wrong, continued to revel in it, and did
not feel sorry about it until the last possible moment,
until it was hurting someone I cared about. I have learned
my lesson, though, from all of this, and it really is a
pretty simple one. Vengefulness and spite can produce no
good. I mean, it wouldn't have taken this for me to figure
that out, but damn...Ah, in any case, it is all behind me,
and things will get better. I just have to focus on what
is important and stop being so self-centered, as I was
throughout the last couple weeks. I would like to
appologize to her, but what I did is beyond forgiveness, so
there really is no point. I'll confess next week, do my
pennance, and forget about it. And I already promised
myself never to act this way again.

I have an O-Chem test today that I barely studied for at
all. Between going to the Magic game last night and the
emotional baggage I was carrying, I couldn't quite get my
head into doing anything academic. I did study a little
this morning while I ate breakfast, but I am not sure if it
is going to make a difference. It's not incredibly crucial
that I do well on this test, however, though, because we
have had a lot of exams in this class and I have done well
on most of them. Something tells me I will end up
switching majors after this year, anyway. And I am still
all game for transferring to a college in Tennessee...

Well, I guess I should go flip through the pages one more
time before I head off. My effort level is definitely a 1
on a 1 to 10 scale, but I'm going to cut myself slack this
week due to the amount of crap I have had on my mind.

At least I did score a job yesterday. I have to make some
calls today about finding a car engine (do they still have
the one I wanted in Rockledge?) and someone to put it in.
The sooner I get a car, the sooner I get working, and the
sooner I get working, the sooner I get to hold sweet Sarah
in my arms :) That's motivation enough for me!