My Inferno, Purgatorio, and Paradisio; M
2001-11-30 10:03:26 (UTC)

Inferno: Brandon, Education, and Death

Why must I be tormented? Why why why...I understand
Brandon, but I don't. He is so perfect for me, and he says
he thinks the same of me, but it seems like he doesn't
think in synch with his words. I have to discuss school
tomorrow with Papi. Home school or Chapparal. Im just not
the normal high school kind of girl. I just can't do
anything normal, can I? I can't believe Grandpa is dead.
Death sucks. At the funeral I just kept screaming in my
head "Grampa come back, please...grampa come back." I hate
how death makes you regret things. I regret not spending
more time with him, I regret not doing some of the things
he wanted to do together. I cry so fucking much now. I hate
how Im some sort of emotionally overloaded machine breaking
down. It makes me want to go back to being void of
emotions. They just get in the way, I dont need
them.Everything is going so damn bad...I'm just waiting and
hoping and praying for a better day to come. The
rollercoaster called Life can suck my dick.=/

Rock On Rock Soldiers
The best way to get rid of temptation is to give into it
Better dead than mellow