Truth, Love and Lies
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2001-11-30 06:15:42 (UTC)

Living Life with a Smile

Well, it has been since July that I have not written in
my diary. I guess so much has happened in that time. I
have dated other guys and nothing has worked out, but I not
sad about any of it really. I am more just looking to be
happy with myself right now. I finally went to the doctor
with chronic pelvic pain and had a laparoscopy on my
abdomen last wednesday. Turns out I have endometriosis.
That is something new to deal with. I am living that life
with a smile though. I am trying my best to really fight
through all the emotions I am feeling. I am trying my
hardest to love myself as much as possible lately and spend
a lot of time focusing on what my life needs right now.
Not sure if a guy figures into that picture. I have not
found a single one in 9 months that is even worth seeing
more than once or twice. I guess that is just the way life
it. I would really like to have someone to share my life
with and to support me, but if he doesn't come along, I
will get along just fine by myself. I am going to a PIKE
party tomorrow. It will be the first time in months that I
have been to a real party. I have been hanging out with
friends...but this real cute guy asked me, so I am going to
give it a try. WHO KNOWS what will happen. I am not
expecting anything. He seemed nice, but you never know...I
have found out the hard way to never judge a book by its
cover, or a guy by the way he initially acts. It is easy
to be sweet for a night...I want one that will be sweet to
me for the rest of my life. That is what i am looking for
right now. A partner in life, not some boy playing
around. Or nothing at all. Which is the most likely of
the two. well, i gotta get to bed now, but love
ya'll...hope you enjoyed my latest update! wish me
luck....or just wish me happiness. night.