epikivel

My Own House, Someday

Man, I can't even think of a starting point. The day was long, dreary, and
slow...one of those days when I wish I was back home, so at least they could be
long and slow and I could have some privacy. After this experience, I never want
to live with anyone again, not even my boyfriend really, no offense to him. I want
to have my own place. Just me! That would be the greatest thing in the world.
And I want it secluded...none of this neighbors shit...I want to be able to sing at the
top of my lungs or blast my music and not have to worry if someone's going to call
the cops.

Living with Bonehead would be nice, and we're planning on it eventually. I don't
want to rush in to things now. Even just a few months ago, I thought I was ready,
but I am definitely still too selfish to share that much of my life with someone. I
value my privacy and I can't exist functionally without the proper amount of
me-time. I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. Some people are afraid of
being alone, but I cherish it. Having time to myself, when I can just be a complete
goofball and do whatever I want, is so essential for me. I need a couple hours a
day to just do my thing...I do stupid, dorky stuff too. Sometimes I'll just play on
the computer, sometimes I'll read books out loud in funny accents, sometimes I'll
just dance around and sing, or read, or watch trashy talk shows, or look at pictures,
or redecorate...anything!! My boyfriend doesn't understand why it takes me so
long to get ready to go out sometimes, but it's not because I'm being vain and
caring about how I look. I am just taking my damn time because I like to! I like to
not rush when I get ready for stuff, it is a luxury to me, I love being able to take a
long, soothing shower, and then leisurely do whatever else I need to do. I hate
being rushed. Being rushed means you don't get to enjoy the things you're doing
up until the point where you don't have to feel rushed anymore, and that is just lost
time, and it's sucky. Maybe I'll miss some stuff, but at least I'm enjoying myself
now!

I think that is partially a reason why living with Bonehead would be so good
though, cuz in many respects, he agrees with my opinion on having time to
himself. So we could just do our own things and it'd be totally cool. I hope he's
not worried about not getting to spend enough time with his friends, but I bet half
the time I'm going to kick him out and make him spend time with them whether he
wants to or not. I love having a house to myself! I love him too though.

Today I wasted most of the night in the mall trying to find acceptable shoes to go
with my dress for the ball this Saturday. I just want freakin' comfortable ones that
are cute, but apparently that is waaay too much to ask for in a shoe department.
The cute ones make my feet want to fall off, and the comfortable ones are bland.
Some day, when I am a famous fashion designer, I will design wonderful,
comfortable, affordable shoes for everyone! And people will thank me. And I'll
be glad and somewhat rich, but not too rich, because I want regular people to buy
my stuff. It will be grand. I'm also going to design really awesome lingerie for
small-chested people...research (of my friends) has shown me that there would
be a huge demand for that, and I tend to agree.

Man, everyone and like, five of their brothers are online tonight.

Ooh ooh, fun quote!
Lauren: And that Nickelback song? I love that song so much, I could fuck that
song! I mean, he's ugly as shit, but he's got a sexy voice. I could fuck his voice!

That girl is too funny. Ugggh, dammit, my friend keeps asking me if I want to go
ice skating with him and I don't want to go, at all. I don't like ice skating. I gave it a
chance, and I've gone several times, and I'm even pretty good at it, but I still don't
like it! Now, do I just go and do it because I'm a good friend, or do I stick to my
guns and say no? He totally blew me off when we had plans on Halloween, and
I'm not bitter about that at all, who gives a fuck, but I don't like doing stuff for
people who don't usually do it for me. I don't enjoy getting taken advantage of,
especially at something I don't like doing! I suck.

Ugh.