aligator8u

An inside look(AHHH)
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2001-11-30 03:10:06 (UTC)

in retrospect

Hi again, yeah it's me...Well i've been doing a lot of
thinking today for some reason and i think i just need to
write it all down and get it out of my system...I look back
on things a lot, you know what they say, "hind sight is
20/20" and oh how true that saying is. It is more than
20/20, do you ever think you set yourself up for hard
times? Well sometimes i wonder to myself, "and why exactly
did you do that, genius?" Well these are questions that i
have no answer to myself, maybe some wild sporadic impulse
or some deep inner feeling in my unconcious mind screaming
to be freed, but none the less i do these silly things and
wonder why i have a hard time...I can be quite the little
smart ass most of the time, and i am rather sarcastic and
insincere, much to my dismay...See there i go again...Well
anyway i tend to beat around the bush also. I just do
things that will come back and kick me in the ass, i say
stupid things that i shouldnt let slip out of my mind and
into my mouth and then out in the open...People say things
without knowing that they come out, they just ay the first
things that pop into thier head, well i guess i should
probably start evaluating the things i am going to
say...Why couldnt i have just kept my mouth shut on our
school pride day? Hmmmm, well i rooted for the other team,
i came to school decked out in the other schools colors
with my face painted and banners flying and i got a hard
time about it, but hey, i set myself up, and for what?
Maybe a few laughs, pissing some people i dont really care
for off, but what did it do in the long run? It just made
things all that much harder for me to live my everyday
life...I mean homecoming is something that should be kept
clean, even though most of the girls on the court aren't,
it should be clean and fun; but then there are jackasses
like myself that ruin the good clean fun of it all and take
it to the edge and almost cross the line, just to see how
far we can go without actually pushing it too far. I have
to admit, most of the things that i do are on purpose for
the pure and sole reason to aggravate and piss off people i
dont care for, but i think i might need to stop, b/c my
hindsight seems to be telling me my little plan doesnt work
so well...Well we'll see how being semi-nice goes, huh?

-the jennster


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