ICanOnlyBeHele3

Mysterious Attitude
2001-11-30 03:05:03 (UTC)

Thursday Nov. 29,2001

*Time:8:23pm
*Wearing: School Uniform
*Jewelry:Tha usual
*Hair: down
*Listenin to : Prince-The Emancipation CD
*Eating/Drinkin: nuttin
*Song of the day : La,La,La,la mean I luv u-Prince
*Weather: Raining and sorta cold
*Talking to : no one my away message is on
*Mood: I have had them all
*Thinking: Wow I have a lot to write

Where to begin ... were to begin ... mmmmm I have a lot of
stuff to write bout ... most of it I'll probably won't
remember but I'll try... Mmm I got AOL 7.0 now ... its cool
I like it so far.. but it seemed like as soon as I
downloaded it I started to have problems with my
computer... See I had this virus and it was sending out
emails with the virus out to people from my screen name ... so I
started to freak out ... but don't worry I deleted it
and AOL told me I should be all good :) :)

~*~*JOSH~*~*

Omg Omg Omg Omg... guess what!!! Tha day after
Thanksgiving I IMed Josh to wish him a happy thanks.. and
he started to talk to me!!! I was like so happy ... but he
was horny az always =-/ Eh... I had my gurl Step. help me
cyber with him and he got kicked but hehe after that day we
talked online ... he sent me a rated pic... and mmmmm I
called him ... he was curious bout me being bi... so I told
him a lil bit bout that and we were just talking...and we
mmm had phone sex... hehe hey not my fault all his ... but
yea I ain't going to lie I luved it!! He sounds soo freakin
good... Az u can see I'm really happy he is talkin to me
again :) Ohh yeah... He was speakin spanish.. omg that is
like such a big turn on for me ... he is like my dream man I
tell u hehe...

~*~*AMANDA~*~*

Yea... I'm talkin to her again...and she has been callin
me her sweetie and all this... I like her a lot don't get
me wrong ... but I dunno it seems like she is playin me ... so I
dunno lol...

~*~*RYAN~*~*

Ehh.. what can I say... I'm going to break up wit him az
soon as I can get a hold of him.. I have toooo many other
guys that I'm talkin to and I don't need to put up with his
baby behavor..he got mad cuz I would have phone sex with
him but hell I don't really like him so why would I even do
that? Its like crazy man... I'm really livin up to my
pimpette/playette name... but I'm bout to drop good old
Ryan... he just bothers me soooo much!!

~*~*LOUIE~*~*

Mmm ... its been a long time since I have said anything
bout Lou ... but I have a lot to say bout him now ... well
see I was talkin to him online and when I read his profile
it said that he had a gurlfriend...so I asked him bout it
and he said yea...well the same night Josh had talked to
me... Lou IMed me.. and we started to talk and he was
horny.. and he wanted to talk to me on tha phone so we
could have phone sex... I was like whateva... I'm not going
to do that with u cuz u have a gurlfriend but we can
talk "normal"" ... so I called him.. and we started to
talk..and he was horny az hell ... and I kept bringin up his
gurlfriend... and well.. I gave in and we had phone sex ... well
since then.. I have been an ice queen to him (AKA
BITCH).. Tellin him I can't talk to him cuz I don't want to
ruin things between him and his gurlfriend... I mean he
still calls me his baby gurl and all this ... and I told him
just to forget bout me and all this... He didn't really
understand why ... but I was online and I was like hey can I
call u..and he was like sorry Jen is callin.. I was like oh
I'm sorry ... and I was like I'll let u go.. and he was like
no.. and I was like yeah I'm leavin.. and after a few
minutes he was like hold on ... then he said call me ... so I
did and I was being a bitch to him on the phone... I mean I
was being a total asshole with a very bitter and cold
attitude... He was sorta hurt and he still wants to meet
me and I real want to meet him but he has a gurlfriend and
I need to back off ... he was tellin me how much he liked me
and how if I would've meet him before he meet Jen me and
him would be going out.. and how he thinks bout me when he
is wit Jen.. and I know how it is to like sumone and when u
try to go out wit sumone else... u can't do it cuz all u
want is the person u like so much ... and I told him that ... and I
cried and cried cuz I felt so bad for all that I was
saying to him but I felt like it would help him out in the
end ... he now understands a lil bit more why I'm acting
like I am ... but its sooo hard on me... Everytime I think
bout him I end up crying cuz he has always been there and I
really like him and I'm tooo much of a chicken ass to meet
him ... and I waited to long and I lost him ... well
sumwhat... look at that... I'm bout to start crying again:(
I dunno what to do... I really don't... I need to get him
out of my mind ... and out of my life but its sooo hard to
do...

~*~*CHRIS~*~*

Well, ... not much to say bout him lol.. all bout tha same
things are going on with him.. I haven't talked to him for
a while so eh... I dunno

~*~*SECRET CUTTING~*~*

Yeah I did it again... TWICE... Everything has got to me..
and I broke down and cut myself...between my mom yelling
and the other things going on in my life... I couldn't
handle it... so I cut ... and I cut ... but everyone found
out that I did it ... and what hurt me tha most was ... when
I was sittin on tha computer... Uncle Bear walked in here
and was like let me see your leg... (where I cut) and I was
like why? Well, ... he made me feel so bad cuz he was
like "your my only gurl and look what your doing to me" He
is bout to go into tha hospital ... and I felt so bad the
man could hardly walk and he came up here to talk to me...
I automatically started to cry and I hugged him ... it was so
hard on me... I really need to stop cutting ... yes I do ... yes I
do....

~*~*MMM RIDING IN STYLE BABY~*~*

Mm...well me,gram,and JR were supposed to go to Minn. to
see Lee, over Thanks. until that Monday ... but grams car
messed up ... so she rented this white Pontiac extreme sport
car.. shit I forgot tha name of it... sumthing like
that...it was nice az hell tho... it has a cd player,a loud
system,tha light went from bright and dimmed az u shut the
door... I rode around in that car like I was sum sort of
pimp.. I tell u that is my dream car baby!!! I was sooo
pissed off that gram didn't go to Minn. in that car...grrr
all cuz tha seats weren't comfy ... I'll tell u more bout
tha car later when I can remember what kind it was...

*~*~SCHOOL~*~

Mm.. school has been going ok for me ... just recently ... we had 3
dress down days back to back.. on tha week of
Thanks ... we had a dress down day,a pj day, and a dress up
day... well I went to all of them but ha dress of day cuz
that was tha day we were supposed to be leavin for Minn...
But it was cool to see people wear pjs to school.. and u
know I was wearin mine to lol.. I had my blue velet ones on
that is pants... with a tank top that has "Perfect Ten"
across the chest... I wore my Princess zip hoody over it
with my comfy ladybug slippers lol... Bling Bling baby!!!
I'll be cooking at school soon... I can't wait!!! It will
be soooo much fun!!! ::Smiles:: Anyone want a cookie?
My X-mas choir concert will be coming up soon... but their
is one problem... our class may not perform cuz soooo many
dumbass people are in that class... and they are ruining it
for all the people who want to sing... I really want to
sing!!!! Its my fav thing to do... and at this rate I don't
think I'll get to :( I hope I do tho...
There was a school meeting at my school... where my mom
could come up there and talk to the teachers... Parents
could also eat lunch with their kids (All the students had
to get 150 or more parents to come so we could get our
dress down dayz) Well... I got good reports from all my
teachers... and it like freaked me out cuz I didn't know
they knew so much bout me lol..... it shocked me..
I just joined this thing for school... I get to go to
other schools and play in this like game thing where they
ask u educational questions.... its cool so far but I don't
get home until 5pm when I go for it lol.... oh well

~*~*THANKSGIVING~*~*

On Thanks.. me and my mom went to Terri's to eat... it was
really good food and I had a good time.. Terri's dog
wouldn't leave me alone tho I think he liked my perfume...I
dunno but I had fun... I didn't eat much but I still had
fun!!!

~*~MY NEW LOOK~*~

Well see.. I'm tryin to have a makeover for myself...
small steps at a time... so my first step was to have my
eyebrows shaped... My uncle's friend Chris did them for
me... they r much thinner and have a lil arch... I didn't
like them at first but I find them sexy now... even Amanda
like them... hehe

~*~*IT'S TIME FOR HELE'S LAST WORDZ~*~*

Eh... I think thats bout all for now... I can't think of
anything else to write... I'm tryin to make this more fun
to read but its sorta hard to.... anyway... I'm goin to be
doing another "My Thoughts" page.. which will include...
more poems,quotes, more things bout me, and my thoughts
bout certian things.... so I'm going to go for right now...
bye bye peace b wild!!!

~*~*HELENA~*~