Nothing but drama....
2001-11-29 23:23:10 (UTC)

Feeling sad.....

Maybe its the weather, (gloomy, and rainy), maybe its the
hormones, (the baby blues) or just maybe, its my
relationship, (he loves me, he loves me not)....I think its
a combination of all. I feel sad that my life is so not the
way I envisioned it. I thought falling in love with the man
of my dreams would be nothing but I love you's, but its
not, and I was wrong; I thought having a baby, wouldn't
change things, but they have, and I was wrong; I thought I
was the woman of my man's dreams, but I dont think I am, I
hope I'm wrong....How can I have everything a girl's ever
wanted, and go about things all wrong. How does one lose
respect, trust, admiration, love, and desire for the person
they love? Maybe I should ask D. I dont think he loves me
anymore, why should he. I have treated him disrespectfully,
I have put him down, I took things to a personal level
(like he says)....Why am I this way? Do I hate my life so
much that I have to take it out on everyone else. Am I THAT
unahppy, that I have to make it personal, and bring
everyone down to my I that fucked up?
My relationiship is going down the tubes....the
relationship I have was one that I thought everyone would
envy...why wouldnt they. D and I were inseparatable, we
were best friends, it was the best sex, (it felt like we
would make love everytime), we would hang out, and even if we weren't
doing anything, I still had the best times. Where did all that go?
Has it been ruined? Have we "lost that lovin' feeling".... I don't
know anything these days....All I know is that I love him more than
anything, and I can't imagine life without him. I only hope he feels
the same way!

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