ashley

writings on the wall
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PropellerAds
2001-11-29 17:45:00 (UTC)

Love...what exactly is it?

I know that I can't lie to myself anymore. I know that
I missed Stanley not because I still love him (maybe I did
love him before but not anymore) but because I feel this
need inside me to have someone to care about me, someone to
talk to, someone to share my sorrows...

I keep telling myself that I don't need a guy to live
on but I know that my day seems brighter when there's a guy
in my life. And the problem with me is that when I fall for
a guy, I fall hard. My cousin tells me that I shouldn't get
too involved in guys because I will be the one getting hurt
in the end...but these things are beyond my control right?

So what is love? And how the hell would I know when I
fall in love and that it's not infatuation or just lust?
Why can't I just find a guy who loves me for who I am, for
better or worse? Love me not just because I am pretty or
have a nice body, etc. I know that it's almost impossible
for me to find a guy like that, but I'll never give up,
hopefully...

Right now I am so doubtful that I'll find my Mr
Right. I am so afraid that I'll fall in love with a guy and
then thinks that he's the one for me, we get married.
Before our first anniversary, he tells me that he doesn't
think that this (our marriage) will work...Why am I
thinking about all this? Is it because I am afraid that
I'll end up like my parents?


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