2001-03-30 05:57:53 (UTC)

OH MY GOD. I hate this. How..

OH MY GOD. I hate this. How come I only like the guys
that are blatantly taken? I am such a loser. I don't want
my journal to be full of that "I love him so much" shit
though so that is really all i am going to say about that.
I am not that concerned with guys at all though, i just
sort of ignore them. I never believe that i could get a
good guy so i am resigned to be alone and lonely. imagine
being resigned like that at 18. sad. anyway, i am
stressed adn suicidal and annoyed which makes for a fun
fuckng evening. i can't sleep and i am using up precious
internet hours by sitting here reading other peoples
journals and shit. i am so sad. ha. what a voyeur i am.
i was reading some of the diaries and it seems like all of
them are extremely deep, or really fucked up or stupid and
teenie bopperish. but i respect them all because they are
just your thoughts, i don't know what i am talking about.
i like this guy and he is taken. i've liked him for a
while and NOBODY knows. ah. i hate caring about that. i
get mad at myself for caring.