2001-11-29 00:05:55 (UTC)

Slipknot thru Smoking

I enjoy listening to Slipknot...sure, their lyrics lack the depth and higher intelligence
of say, Ben Folds, but they put on a good live show and they are decently
talented. It's just fun, mindless music. But lately I've been craving something with
more to it, something that has a point and makes me think. At this point, where the
decisions I make are going to be integral in planning the rest of my life, I need
something with more substance. I am starting to believe that metal is really just a
juvenile outlet, something you outgrow.

Take Marilyn Manson, for example...I was never a huge fan, but I saw him in
concert, and I gotta admit, the guy puts on a hell of a show. It's interesting, to say
the least. But he's such a child at heart, and no matter how much he tries to hide it,
it blazes through his stage persona. I've read interviews with him, and he is an
intelligent man...a particular essay he wrote concerning the Columbine massacre
struck me as being particularly insightful. However, to read his lyrics, you'd think
they were written by a 12-year-old. He has become everything he pretends to
be against...he lets his fans worship him, idolize him, and try to be him, all the while
"promoting" ideas of individuality. Maybe it's not him that I have a problem with,
perhaps it is his fans. I just remember standing there, in a mish mash of people,
and watching the crowd singing along to his lyrics, cheering for whatever he said
without even thinking about it, doing hand motions and screaming just what he
wanted them to scream, having no mind of their own...obviously not understanding
his message at all...I hated it. I didn't hate the concert, I just hated the crowd.

I just can't stand it when people use things as an outlet for their problems instead
of just dealing with them, and this is not directly connected to my above
statements concerning Manson. I just think people grope for anything that will let
them not deal with things, and I think that's part of the reason why many people
suck at all things emotional as of late. It is partially why I fucking hate cigarettes, and
other drugs. I have seen so many people turn to them as an escape instead of
dealing with the problem at hand. I can't even count how many times I have heard
a pissed of person say, "Dammit, I wish I had a cigarette" to calm them, as if that
would magically make things better. Maybe they do calm down for a small while,
but the problem is still there, but maybe it's not such a bad thing anyway, I just
hate it. Any addiction controls your life, and that's never a good thing. I have
never had an addiction, so there is no way I can understand how it is, no way I can
understand how hard it is to break one. However, I am on the other side of the
spectrum, and I know how easy it is to just realize that it is very bad and NOT
START. I don't feel bad for anyone with an addiction, unless they came about it
unknowingly, but every damn person that puts a cigarette in their mouth knows the
consequences of it fully well, and unless for some reason they are highly
undereducated, they have to take full responsibility for their actions and I will not
feel sympathy for them. Not my fucking problem, not my responsibility. I never
want any substance to control my life.

I have to vent that opinion on here, because I don't think my friends who smoke
and do other such things are idiots, and they can do whatever they want. I might
be concerned, but it is never my place to lecture someone and tell them smoking
or something is bad. They know it is. So be it.