listen to my silences
2001-11-28 23:04:00 (UTC)

the problem is that a bunch of words don't always add up to a coherent thought

i was gonna title this one "random thoughts" but i like
that title better. anyways, here are the random words, you
decide if they add up or not. i didn't write these first

perhaps free will is nothing more than a desperate illusion

what to make of everything? i felt a familiar hollow space
inside. i felt i was being held down against my will. i
felt i was burning up from head to toe. i felt that
someone was tearing me up in little pieces and soon i would
be able to see all the pieces as they floated out into
nothing in the deep blue sea.

i did write this one. it's based on what kells, mare, and
g have been going through lately. and i guess it has
something to do with me, but who knows...

there are times in my life that i wish i could see
just what exactly happened and what became of me
and i wake up and look around and still i see i'm lost
to find my way ever my dream though not ready for the cost
so i wander almost aimlessly through these walls of scorn
where anger fear and pride exist and hope seems so forlorn
i cast myself onto a bed another sleepless night
and question whether throughout the confusion i ever put up
a fight

i gotta run to the store. i'll try to write more later but
knowing me it won't happen.

final thought: i know you believe you understand what you
think i said, but i am not sure you realize that what you
heard is not what i meant.