In 5 and a half hours I will be on a plane to Florida. My
nerves are shot and I have some many worries about the
flight. I don't know if it has to do with Sept. 11 or just
becuase I get like this. But I'm sure that I will be
okay, besides I'm going with Patricia so I can hold her
hand. And I'll be with her if anything does happed...God
forbide. So anyonw reading this pray for my flight on ATA
departing at 9:30 am...that's if the plane I'm taking
coming in from Mineapolis isn't delayed because of the snow
storm there. Robert called me a few times today and on my
way home from work I stopped at his friends house to see
him . All he did was make fun of the fact that I was
worried about the plane falling out of the sky. It kinda
hurt. I went to him for comfort, and he wants me to be his
girlfriend? I think not. I talked to Shawn, he comforted
me alot. Told me he'd see me tomorrow, which he will.
(Amica I know you have to be reading this right now, so
when I get in I'm having patty drive me to EBS and can I
borrow the ol' cougar for an hour?) My nerves have calmed
alot however. I'm relaxed right now and I don't plan on
sleeping. I'm going to take a bath and paint my toenails.
Florida...I love it yet hate it. I'm confused...don't know
if this was the right decision. I really don't even want
to know if I'm doing things right with Shawn...I just want
to know if I was supposed to be back here in Chicago.
That's all. I think it's fair becuase honestly I have no
fucking clue what I am doing. I just hide it very well. I
love Shawn with all my heart and I think I'm the only
person that sees that he has some form of good in that
redneck ghetto heart of his. I think he's trying, I ust
don't know if it should be for me. That answer will come
with time. I'm finding patience..slowly. I just can't
wait to be where I feel safe...