midlife

NO TOPIC CONTINUED.

I just thought I'd try the save thing. I want to start at
the beginning, but I don't really know what the beginning
is. A few months ago I started seeing or should I say
sleeping with this guy in the National Guard, both of us
are in the National Guard. I've been attracted to him for
a long time. We would always exchange phone numbers, but
never really call one another. Then back in September, we
saw each other he gave me his number and it was on. The
problem is, I think I am falling in love with him. This is
the clencher, I'm married, and have been for 5 years. I
have never cheated on my husband until now. This guy I am
seeing is 7 years younger. He hasn't told me that he has
feelings for me, but we've slept with each other several
times. I meet him at lunch at his place and we go straight
to the bed. He calls me everyday and sometimes in the
evening on my cell phone. he is in a serious relationship
with a girl that lives in Tampa, He is supposed to be
marrying her in June...go figure. Most times when we are
together we don't get to spend a lot of time
together,becuase for one, I am sneaking. This past weekend
we got to spend a few hours together, that's the most time
that we have spent together, we went to a motel. We had a
wonderful time. At least I did, he called me the next day
and talked about how much fun we had. I spoke with him
briely yesteday. He's been real busy because he is moving
into a new apartment this week and is going out of town
this weekend, to Tampa to see his girl. She usually comes
up here every weekend. When we talked yesterday, he said
he would call me back last night and he didn't, Iguess he
was real busy. This morning, he didn't call me at work.
Sometimes, he doesn't call me and I end up calling him by
lunch time, which is usually pretty straight. Yesterday
when we talked, he said he would call me back and he never
did. I emailed him pretty vague, and he emailed me back,
pretty vague. When I called him this afternoon, he seemed
okay, like himself, I know he has been preoccupied iwth
moving and work, but go figure. He said that everything
was okay and he was preoccupied with work and moving. He
said he had a meeting tonight but never said if he was
going to call me. Needless to say, I am waiting for my
cell phone to ring, and my husband is sound asleep...and
that's another story. I wondering about the boyfriend
thing, I wonder why he's hanging out with me. I asked him
was for sex. He said if that was the case he could get sex
from his girl. He has never said that he has feelings for
me. I have slept with him about 6 or 7 times in the past
month or so. Sex is great...really great, but I really
want to know if he has feelings for me...I wouldn't dare
ask. Anyway, I spend a lot of my time wanting to talk to
him or wishing he would call me. Go figure. I better go
to bed, I have to get to work shortly... I'm so confused.
I really am.