megan

listen to my silences
2001-11-28 02:29:16 (UTC)

hope for (almost) all

i told brodie what the question was. it took me forever
and a day cause i didn't want to tell him. i mean, i'm
glad i did, but i...oh, i don't know. i mean, nothing
between us changed. i know that. it was just a
conversation. i don't even know if i really want what we
discussed. i'm so confused. he thinks it's a phase. that
i turned to him cause he's always there and he's never ever
turned away. he hasn't, so that is a valid argument. i
don't know. i really hope he's right.

he's not quitting school and going to reisz (or however you
spell the name, just sound it out). haire won't let him.
he said "it's not in your best interest" to brodie. ok, so
when did he get the authority to decide the best interests
of people? i think brodie would be the best to consult on
that one, but maybe that's just me. we're gonna try and
get an apartment. HOPEFULLY that will work out. and also
hopefully he still wants to.

kells is...not better. she and adrian are still having
words. josh apparently never did love her, no matter what
he said. ouch is right. dad made her quit drama, so i
won't perform with her this weekend, which sux. if it
wasn't for her, righteous insanity would have fallen apart
by now. shattered actually. hopefully i can see her this
weekend at one of the performances.

geoff is having major problems. his entry...scared me. i
hope i haven't caused any of it, or helped to be the cause
of it. i try to ask what's going on. he doesn't usually
immediately tell me, but i want him to know that i'll
listen. i think he knows that, cause he DOES tell me
stuff, just not right away. he's a really sweet guy who
isn't appreciated by a lot of people who take advantage of
him. g, i want you to know that you are loved, and i'm
sorry if any of this is my fault.

dad went off on me yesterday for taking a book out of the
house and forgetting to bring it back in before guard. the
only reason it was any problem was cause it was the one he
was reading. then mom went in to talk to him. she
said "there's no reason to treat your daughter like that.
she wasn't doing anything wrong." he said "i'm trying to
watch this." i walked in to hand him the old car and house
keys that don't go to anything (that works) anymore. she
said "i'm trying to ask you a question". he said "i'm
trying to watch tv" in a mocking tone of voice. she
said "i'm more important than that. she's more important
than that." i said "evidently not" and stared straight at
him. he didn't say anything. NOTHING AT ALL!!! he just
turned the tv up. i told brodie and he said he thinks it's
cause he knew he was wrong and wouldn't/couldn't admit it.

oh, just to tell everyone. jamie is not a slut.
apparently in one of my entries i made it appear that she
was. i had to clear this up not only cause i am tired of
being yelled at by her about that crap but also cause she
really isn't one.

final thought: children, don't stop dancing, believe, and
you can fly high, away, away




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