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2001-11-27 01:34:23 (UTC)

Pitty Party!!!!!

Ok....usually I don't do this but.....come on. Today
had to be the worst day that I've ahd in a long time....or
maybe in a couple of weeks. My dad recently told me that
he thought I had mono (he is an ENT)....anyway so a couple
days later when the medicine he gave me wasn't working he
had me go see a doctor. That was so depressing......I
stepped on the scale and thought I was going to cry!!!!
Then I guess my doctor noticed the weight gain because he
began to ask me all of these questions about tennis.....are
you still a shame.....such a
talented are you doing anything now?....and
I am sitting here thinking fuck you buddy. I can get my
weight down easily. I do it all the time. Just a couple
of months ago I was down to 123lbs. That is not bad for
someone who is 5'6". Anyway, he just doesn't know how I
am. The first time I went compared to the second time my
weight had changed 10lbs. He said that it was to short of
a time period to lose that much weight. So he changed the
previous recording. Well I have to go back there in a week
and I am determined to lose weight so that I can blow him
away again. Anyway, after that conversation he looked at
my throat etc. and concluded that I most likely had mono
and that I would not get completely better for a couple of
weeks! Weeks! I can't spare that much time! I need to
work on getting my like back on track! Anyway, so I went
to the hospital after that so that they could draw
blood....ugh. They took a whole vile! What bitches! But
anyway they had to use a needle that they would use for an
infant because my veins were so small....what is up with
that? Just another prime example of why I should not be
here. I wouldn't be anyway if it had not been for all the
medical advances. So I mean it was kinda like I was
cheated into life. And, now I am having to pay cause I
didn't start off right. Well anyway after I got the blood
taken I went home and called Holly. Can you believe that
in the middle of the conversation Matt began to finger
her!!!!!???? What in the hell is up with that? I don't
want to hear that! And then I began to think......I wish
that was me on the other line. Why can't I find someone.
I mean really why????????? Sometimes it really starts to
piss me off! Well I guess that is where I stand today.
And on the positive side which I really don't want to think
about right now......I don't have a life threating least I have veins......and maybe I will
find someone one day......oh and I don't weight 200lbs! So
ok it could be worse. But as of now it looks pretty bad to

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