ihateparisinthespring

To poop or not to poop, that is the question...

Just when I thought it was safe to get over my phobia
of "going number two" in public restrooms...
I've never had to poop so bad that I was compelled to use a
public restroom, until today. I figure it's not really a
huge, stalled, feces-infested, cesspool, so I'm safe. It's
unisex. It's one toilet in a cozy scented room.There isn't
any urine, or tampons lounging on the floor. No one is
really around anyway, so I figure now is the time to
overcome my fear. I sit, not too cold, not too warm, just
nice and relaxing... plop, plop. Ahhh... plop. I've done
it! Wait a minute...isn't the rule if you can hear them,
they can hear you. And I do beleive just heard someone walk
by chattering away. Panic sets in. Oh My God. What did they
hear? Is that laughing at my expense? Just calm down. No
one has knocked. No one even knows who you are. I stand up
(after wiping, of course),flush, fasten my pants, and
stroll confidently to the sink to wash my phobia-free
hands, when the unthinkable happens. Everything goes in
slow motion. The door handle starts to giggle. Thank God I
checked the lock. The ill-fated knocking sounds on the
door. It echos deep in my head. Again, panic. But this time
I have more to worry about than the mere sound of poo,
there is the smell. I wish the myth about girls' poopie not
smelling was true, especially since this cozy newly
rescented room has no ventalation, and I am in the middle
of washing my hands. There are no more steps. I can't
stall. Ok, wash my hands again. Maybe they will get tired
of waiting and go somewhere else. I don't hear anyone. I
can't wait anylonger. Just do it. Walk out the door and get
as far away as possible before they realize what you did. I
swing the door open, and make eye contact with one of the
more adorable guys I've seen on campus. Dark hair, dimples,
and he's about to find out I just pooped. NOOOOO!!!! Such
is the story of my life. I will never poop away from home
again. DO YOU HEAR THAT GOD? YOU WIN! I WILL NEVER POOP
AWAY FROM HOME AGAIN!