Ramblings and complaints
2001-11-27 00:33:14 (UTC)

I haven't done this in a while

You know I guess they say that you should write things down
so you can remember them later eh? It seems that it's about
50/50 of the things i don't want to remember and the things
i do. It's been a rough road getting here, somehow it only
seems like the begining. Maybe just beacuse I'm on the
road alone, or maybe we are all misguided, and the drugs
numb the pain? I just want to be happy, this is worse than
being upset, being blank, It a mind filled with emotional
emotionlessness. Sometimes the easiest words to type are
the ones we don't try to, when grammar become meaningless
and the fingers just "stroke" the keys. I guess i was
inspired to write today. I just wish i knew if this one
was real this time. Or is it someone just to have
somebody. Does she already have somebody? I just know she
makes me smile. i thought about her a few weeks back, cause
a friend had liked her. Funny how things work out, when
the same person gets back in the storty, on;y now just a
detail. Maybe everything is like that, really totally
interconnected. and we all just switch roles. This girl i
speak of, seems very smart, witty and individual. Am i
getting myself into the same prediciment? should i just let
girls alone, I just want one to love me. And now the
boyfriend topic comes up, probably not me just like the
times before. When we have someone, we become muted to the
world, to others and to affection untill it's the same
numerical patern repeating its self. metaphysics....