Shot

release

Yeah, I finally said all I wanted to. I finally got it all
out. And you know what? It feels GREAT. It feels great to
tell someone that is so naive the horrid fucking truth that
is their life. It's liberating to reveal the secrets you
kept to protect their feelings. Insensitive? Completely.
But by no means do I regret it. And I gain immense
pleasure out of knowing I am right, and knowing that she
will fail in her future endeavor, and in knowing that the
one she loves only wants her for venial pleasures. Someday
she'll realize that, but for now I can just sit and be
amused at how self-deceived she is in believing that she is
truly loved by him. I suppose infatuation can be rather
blinding. Or maybe, she really does just want to get laid
and she's convinced herself otherwise. In any case, it is
irrelevant. Dirty sluts are just that. They do not change.
"You can take the whore away from the whorehouse, but you
cna't take the whorehouse out of the whore." She'll always
be little more than a tainted slut, put here to absorb the
cum of despirate men everywhere. That's the blunt, cold
truth of the matter.

But anyway, to more important issues. I'm moving to
Tennessee in the fall of 2002! Yeah! I think I am going to
go to either Memphis U. or U. of Tennessee, and switch
majors. I think I want to be a high school teacher and
teach either English or Art, or both. Granted, I won't make
as much money as I would as a geneticist, but I will enjoy
the hell out of it; and moreover, you get 3 months of
vacation EVERY YEAR!--can it get any better? I'd be able to
write then, paint then, travel a little. It sounds so
ideal. I can't resist that...And hopefully things'll work
out as I plan and the sweet girl in my life will attend
school with me. We've been talking about what she could do
for a career. So far, I've thought it would be cool if she
were either an elementary teacher, or like a spokesperson
for a company, or something of that sort. She has a
wonderful personality and is well-suited for dealing with
people, which would make her great in either profession. I
really admire the way she is able to express herself to
others and communicate with people. It's a beautiful thing
to see. :) Besides that, I love the fact that she is a
believer, and a Catholic, someone that shares similar values
as me. God definitely knew what He was doing with my life,
and I have thanked him for it numerous times. He truly does
provide for us if we trust in Him and remain patient.

My future is bright and I was a fool for clining to shards
of a ridiculous relationship. Sometimes it takes a little
time to realize these things, though, so I do not hold it
against myself. In any case, I have things to look forward
to, and a future that excites me.

"I'm in love with the world, through the eyes of a girl..."
--Elliot Smith