Heav3nsPr0mise

Babyness
2001-11-26 02:25:02 (UTC)

Madness seeping in... *sigh* God, please don't let this start again.

Lately, I haven't been mourning in self pity like I use
to...thank God...it gets boring. I've been actually pretty
good, I don't try to act like a raging whore(i don't think
i do), I've been praying everyday, out of depression, but I
still have been keeping myself sobbing over Brandon.
People say I should move on, some say I have to maybe not
soon but i will, and others think i'm just trying to get
attention. Well, please by all means, don't pay attention
to me then. Its not that I can't move on...Its not that I
want attention, and its not that its just still taking up
time...*sigh*...Its... I don't want to move on. I'm quite
content with my consistant mourning. Maybe this is why I
can't find a guy (probably). I've been having odd
dreams..i've been praying for more dreams to talk to
brandon more...but i've not been getting any. Weird dreams
where I find myself loving someone else, dating someone
else, and he seems unreal to me...not unreal... but someone
I wouldn't be able to date. Its weird because I find
myself now liking him. I can't admit it, but I do. He
fits the bill of soo many things. I can't get close to him
though. God, why do I put myself into these situations.
Should I tell him, or no? Would he care, or laugh...what?
I don't know.
I wanted to type soo much more...i just don't know how
to say all of it...i'll just let this go..maybe write
tonight...maybe i'll tell hah...u know who.
doubtful...well.. i'll go.. ta ta

~~Priceless Wings~~




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