You don't want to read this
2001-11-26 02:10:54 (UTC)

Why, oh why. . .

"But the biggest issue of all is that fact that I think
I've been PLAYED all week by someone. I have been thinking
about the weeks events and all and there are things that
don't add up at all about it. I don't know, maybe I'm just
paranoid. I don't think I am though. Especially after I
talked to Candice tonight. I felt bad thinking what I was
thinking but now that I found someone else that agrees with
me, I feel more justified. If I find out that I have been
used all week to feed someone's need for attention, I'm
gonna be so pissed. Oh wait, pissed won't even cover it.
I will flip on her and won't be able to control myself. I
did not spend all my time and energy trying to help to just
be played and screwed over. AHHH. I really feel like I
won't be able to control myself. That is not ok. So help
me God. . .if I find out that she lied to me about
ANYTHING, I mean ANYTHING. . .oh, Jesus help her."

Oh look, a quote from me. When I wrote this, it was how I
felt. It's how I feel. I didn't mean it to be hurtful.
And I didn't put it there intentionally for it to be read.
I write about how I feel in here, and that was how I felt.
I probably should regret writing it. But, truthfully, I
don't really regret it. I haven't written anything in a
week in here because I didn't know what to write. I still
don't. I just don't know how to respond. On one hand I
feel like a piece of crap for writing anything at all and
on the other hand I don't. So I am conflicted about it.
And I don't want to say anything I'll regret so I haven't
said anything. . .and I still have nothing.