GlassySurface

Denying Who She Was

The water cascaded down her bare back as she washed her
hair and denied who she was.

The shampoo created a thick lather in her hands, on her
head, and still, she shoved the thought away.

It scared her to think that everything she used to be was
gone. It wasn't that there was a physical change, it just
seemed that everything inside her shifted, the hidden
pieces revealed, the old ones locked away.

In truth, she was everything she was before, she just
didn't see it like that. She saw herself as some hideous
monster.

She rinsed the soap from her hair and sat down in the tub.
She sighed, drew her knees up to her chest and held them
close. The water poured over her, into her eyes. She did
not move, instead, she began to sing softly to herself.

"I'm dead in places other men feel everything..."

The song had been on her mind a lot lately. It felt
appropriate. It felt right.

The warm water became slightly colder, telling her that
this was the time to get out of the shower, unless she
wanted to freeze. She stood up slowly and turned off the
water.

Grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her naked body, she
pulled across the curtain and stepped out of the shower
onto the floor. It was cold, and she quickly stepped onto
the mat in front of the tub.

She dried herself off, taking no interest in her body,
trying to see herself as just another human being, instead
of the grotesque creature she felt to be.

She dressed. She slowly slid her legs into her underwear,
into her pants. She put on her bra, her shirt. Put the
socks and shoes on each foot and felt a little more normal.
She opened the bathroom door and walked out into the living
room.

There she was, standing face to face with the other. The
one who had captivated her from the moment they met.

"Are we ready to go?"

She nodded. The other grasped her hand, and they left, the
two, long hair bobbing, clasped back in ponytails. She
still felt a little odd holding the others hand.

She looked at the other as they walked down the street and
whispered, "Don't you mind the stares?"

The other laughed, "Stares?" The other bit their painted
lips, "No, I don't mind them, as long as I'm with you."

She nodded, a comforted smile set on her lips. She squeezed
the others hand and continued walking.