My Life: The Best Soap Opera Ever Writte
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2001-11-25 16:28:06 (UTC)

Feeling Decent Today "Video" by Indie Arie Nov 25 11:14am

Today is an ok day so far. I have to finish up some school
work, iron some colthes and clean my room some.

I have not talked to steve today. I guess he hasnt retunred
home yet. I really do miss him alot. I love this guy..but
sometimes I ask myself is it really worth it..Reason I say
this is cause if he decides to go back with Juan then I am
the only one to really lose. I have tons to lose. I love
him more than I have anyone else. Yeah I know I was gonna
kill myself cause I was so "in love" with Josh. But I
realized I was not that in love with him. Cause if I
was...i wouldn't have tried to kill myself just cause I
couldnt have him. I would have wanted to stay here just for
the chance to see him at any given moment. I am glad I
finally realized that.

As for T.K.. I guess after Josh and I had the last falling
out..i was just so amazed that someone wanted me. I truely
believed everything TK said cause he proved them with
actions until he started acting like a dumb ass. He dumped
me cause he..really didn't know. All he knew was the label
on a bear can or whatever he was drinking and smoking pot.
I really did love him. It was sad.

But steve, he makes everything seem clearer. I mean he
gives me the good and the bad aspects of things. He doesn't
lie to me. He is always upfront about his decesions. I
respect him. He's a real man. He has given me so much these
last few months and I am so grateful to him. I thank God
for him all the time. I just wish he was here. And I just
hope I get my wish come June. I want a life with him. And I
am preparing myself for the worse. But parts of me..a big
part...knows he wants to be with me. I guess it's just a
matter of time now.

We shall see!!

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