thouhgts of Sam
2001-11-25 15:38:03 (UTC)

why am I so scared?

Why am I so scared? Is it because I'm afraid to put my
heart into fearing I will be the only one? Or because I
know it will hurt so much? Or could it be because this
time it is SO different? I am so comfortable with her that
sometimes it scares me. I have never been able to just
bear all I mean I say what's on my mind, but I usually
censor it. And with her I dont, is that why? Because I
see a real future? AHHH she's all I think about and it's
so weird and comforting at the same time. I had a dream
about her lastnight, it wasnt completly about her. It was
that dream where everyone is making fun of you and then
they turn into big black demons and begin to laugh at you
and they grow and grow, and all you seem to do is shrink,
and then when I thought I could take it no more, a golden
ray of light shined through them all. And guess who that
was? Yes, it was joselin, with arms extended. I dont know
what it all means yet, but I think it's something good. I
have been spending the last few days with her and each day
I seem to fall for her even more, and just when I think I
cant possibly like her more than I already do, I do. I am
so glad that she didnt go to mexico, it has been great
being able to just see her. Sorry I have to get off the
computer now but I'll talk some more later