Ode to a psycho!HA!
2001-11-25 06:44:22 (UTC)


A whie back I mentioned Stephen...ah Stephen, I love him...
and I don't mean like "awww, melody has a crush on Stephen"
or like Brian "loves" me I LOVE him........and I don't even
know why. He's a triplet, all three of them look almost
exactly alike. Stephen, Daniel, and Geoffrey so of course the
were like celebrities at our middle school, everyone knew who
they were since 6th grade! I always thought stephen was the
nicest....although I only had one class with him until 8th
grade. his brothers came across as assholes to me, don't ask
me why. And I was right, they are assholes. In eighth grade
we had homeroom together, and 18 weeks of 2-d art together so
we would talk every now and then. He's not really one for
conversation, but that never bothered me. It really got bad
toward the end of 8th grade year, I don't know what it was,
but I was drawn to him. The last day of school came around
finally, we were all signing yearbooks and he didn't have one
so I took a piece of computer paper, and wrote " Stephens
Yearbook" across the top of it. Everyone signed it and he was
happy. I managed not to cry the entire day even knowing that
over 1/2 of my friends I would most likely never see again,
including Stephen. It was a 1/2 day and we were all in the
courtyard talking and stuff, and I decided I wanted to be by
myself, and started to walk toward the bus loading area to
put my stuff on a bench. The bell wasn't going to ring for a
good 20 mins. or so and the busses were all in the driveway.
I hadn't seen Stephen for a while that day, but didn't think
much of it. I figured it was probably better if I didn't see
him........I was passing the busses when all of a sudden I
hear someone call my name. i looked up and Stephen was
running off of his bus toward me. i suppose he had the same
idea and wanted a good seat on the bus. I left my stuff on
the bench and went to him, he put his arms around me which
was startlng in itself, he had never touched mme like that
before. We hugged for what seemed like an eternity, i could
have stayed there forever. He pulled back, and I moved the
hair from my face. he said " I'll miss you so much, call me"
he was wearing a black t-shirt and jeans, his blonde hair was
gelled messy and spiked His eyes were as blue s a lagoon, i
could have drowned in that moment the bell
rang........he looked up and then went back to his bus. i
walked back to my bench still in amazement of what had just
happened...........and then i cried......I wept for the first
time in months I don't physically cry in public very often..
That night I was going to Adventure landing water park with a
girl who I DID NOT want to be going with. our mothers had
made these plans, and I was not very happy about them. I
managed to " accidently" lose her and found another friend
unexpectedly. I walked with her up onto a raised deck where
her stuff was. i was looking over the balcony, out at a sea
of people when that same voice said my name. I looked down,
there standing to my disbelief was stephen. he told me to
wait and he'd be right up, i watched him run up the stairs
and to me. I guess you could say I was in shock. We hung out
for a while that night. then he had to go find his brothers.
He said he'd come find me to say goodbye before he left. he
didn't. I talked to him a considerable amount that summer.
His brothers made fun of us and called me his girlfriend.
When they said they didn't remember me they looked me up in
the yearbook.......bad idea.......I look HORRIBLE my hair is
messed up and somehow my glasses were crooked!!!!!! they were
like oh yeah we remember!!! She had really thick glasses,
like bi-focals or something, and then Geoff said they were to
thick to be bi- focals they had to be tri-focals, i told them
they were idiots and didn't know what the fuck they were
talking about. That didn't stop Geoff and Daniel from calling
me tri-focal girl the rest of the summer. then when school
started, we kinda lost touch. I didn't see him from that
night in the water park at the end of school until December.
I saw him at thespian districts, randomly I was running down
the hallway to the ladies room to make a quick change before
my next performance, and THAT voice said my name. I turned
quickly and we locked eyes......God I wanted to kiss him
right there and then after not seeing him for over 6 months.
But I didn't We had a few little conversations thoughout the
day, and talked for a while during the awards ceremony. I saw
him at second districts as well, in January, but haven't seen
him since..........until recently. I went to see him in his
school rpoduction of Guys and Dolls. Our schools are great
rivals and in late August I saw him at the football game. He
was with his girlfriend of like two days. It stings my ears
just to hear that. she was short like me, and blonde, like
me, but she was a junior and had a car. she wasn't very
pretty but that doesn't matter. I was taken back by her a
little. I was very nice to her. I happened to be with some
friends who also know Stephen when i saw him. we walked over,
there were four of us and I don't even think he saw me at
first. my friends were busy embarassing him in front of his
new g/f and he happend to turn kindof catti corner, and we
met eyes unexpectedly, he just said hey. and then looked down
at his feet. it was like the whole world stopped. I think he
could see the resentment in my eyes. i kept seeing Daniel
alot that night. He would always give me this weird look like
I know you don't I? but I never approached him, because he
too was with his g/f. I guess I look a lil' different when I
don't have my glasses on, i'm wearing neutral make-up, I have
boobs, and short blonde hair (compared to how it was) =) two
years makes a big difference =) I didn't see Stephen again
after that. And now I doubt that he'll ever speak to me
again. When our homecomming came around this year, several
weeks after the football game, I was having trouble getting a
date. I didn't want a repeat of the previous years tragedy,
but I din't want to go with someone I din't know either, so
about a week prior I called Stephen. He was my last, last,
last resortI didn't have anyone else to turn to. he was a
little shocked, which didn't surprise me, it was very random.
He said he had to think and that he'd have to call me back
later that week. i told him when it was and he said fine,
he'd call me back. he never did. I ended up going with my
friend ashley and had a wonderful time. Abagail did our make
up and we went to Applebees for dinner. Ashley ( the same
ashley abs bitches about in her diary- jeanskirt)
coincedently used to be good friends with Stephens older
brother, and they live in the same neighborhood. She took a
picture of me during one of the slow songs sitting at a table
all by myself all gussied up with my head sitting in my fist.
It turned out to be an awesome pic. She was pissed when I
explained what happened, and took the picture and wrote on
the back of it " JERK! Nice way to spend my sweet sixteen!"
or something along those linesand put it in his mailbox. I
was Horrified!!!!!!!! I mean wouldn't you be!!!!!! she made
it look like I did it!!! i don't even know exactly where he
lives!!!!!! Anyway, that was in Sept. he never called, but I
know he got it....... districts is in two weeks I'm bound to
see him, I don;t even know how to act everytime I see him I
melt. UUGGGGGHHHHHHHH it was such a beautiful picture, i
don't even know what to say to him!!!! what do you say about
something like this!!!!!???? I hope to god his brothers
haven't seen it!! I'm so scared and confused!!!!!!HELP!!!!!!!