Valkyrie of Velois

The Days of Deaths
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2001-11-26 01:55:56 (UTC)

my mind's eyes

I wish these visions would go away! I can not chase then
and I can not coax them to get out of my mind's eyes. I can
not stand it. I see visions or picture or what ever you
wish to call them in my mind and they are impossible to run
away from for I have tried. The harder I run from them the
clear and louder they grow. These picture are of mutilated
people that I know and some are of people that I don't know.
The most recent one is this scrawny child, about 12 or so,
dressed in brown rags with big black ozing scabs covering
his whole body and they suround his watery and shrunken
eyes; those sad eyes have stare up at me pleading with me to
end his pain and his life for at least a week now. He calls
to me it seems. I almost start yelling in class at him.I
almost scream things like 'I can not do anything! I can not
even help myself, so why do you come to me pleading this
way?' These visions torture my mind in a way that you can
not begin to understand. I feel like crying half of the
time and the other half I have seeked refuge in sleep but
even there sometimes he and the others haunt me. I wish that
they would go away!
I can not ask my mother to get rid of them, this is my mind
after all. She would also take me to a doctor of sorts. I
do not want to go back to that place. They did nothing to
help me they only showed me the corner of the darkform
inside of me that I was already aquanted with. I hate her
for she has no idea what my mind is like or the torture and
pain I go through to hide my thoughts from her so she will
think I am normal and sane. I laugh at myself even now as I
think of sanity in me. Oh how pure I was when I was a
child. A good sweet straight A type of child. But all of
that has faded now. I am struggling to keep my head above
the water of life, but it proves useless.
How odd it was that I wanted to be a lawyer...

I wonder, what does Yew look like? I need to find some
soon. Do any of you know what it looks like?

~Valkyrie of Velois~