2001-11-25 16:08:20 (UTC)

Relationships are a Bitch!!

Dear Diary:

Relationships and Men are both a bitch to deal with.

My Thanksgiving Day was ok. I mean, we got up, got dressed, attended Thanksgiving Day Mass, and went out to have Thanksgiving Day Dinner.

Frank had to work 3:30 pm to Midnight. I sat at home watching TV. It was Friday that was a bummer for me.

I had no idea that Honey-Bear was home and started to write in my many online journals early. All of a sudden a MSN messenge came across my CRT screen
and asked how I was doing.

Well, I am going through depression, menopause,
and many other things at the same time. So I write
how I feel and all. This is my therapy.

Honey-Bear sugguested he come to Chicago. I told him no it was not the right time. I was not very good company when I am depressed and on a down
swing. I told him I would come and get him and bring him in by the metra trains when I was feeling better and wanted to be around people.

Well, he then started talking about his ex wife.
How he wished he could run into her and wish her
Happy Holidays. I recommended her send her a Nice
but non-mushy type Christmas Card. He said, she did not think he knew where she had moved, but he did.
I sugguested he tell her if she asked him, he got her new address via the UPS and or the internet.

Our msn message escalated into tears and emotions.
He stated he was looking for the "perfect" girl.
I told him there was no such animal.
And you get the picture.

I mean here you have a cute young man, age 41, and
he has not been able to find a young woman in her early 30's to be his girlfriend.
He does not like to be alone. I live 90 miles away.
I am swigging to men, and trying to keep up my health.

I am the opposite. I am 46, I am very introverted,
very withdrawn, if I want to be around people I will, but I like my solitude.

He is outgoing and I am the quiet indoor type.
I get out to walk around and then it is.

We are each other's sexual compliment and compatible. I have given him the honourary name of my best lover I had in 76 "Little"Rudy Richards.

He reminds me of Rudy. But Rudy did not have the same problems that Honey-Bear had. Rudy was married once and his marriage ended after 18 years with no
hard feelings. He helped Mary to establish her credit and gave her a friendly divorce so she could marry Ralph, her second husband.

Rudy placed me on a pedestal and taught me everything I know about sex, men, and love.

He taught me if I have it flaunt it. I do it!

On the otherhand; Poor Honey-Bear, he is still
heart-broken about what his ex wife did to him.
She sneaked behind his back and filed for a divorce
without telling him why she wanted a divorce.
He did not fight back. I would have and I would
have contested the divorce.

I keep telling him, do you think she is hurting.
She has moved on and she has a new boyfriend.
She has a child by him, something she was not willing to wait for when she was married to Honey
after she lost their child.

Shit, I miscarried Hal Covington's and my first baby and then we kept on trying. After 10 months
I conceived again and I had our son.

She was just inpatient. Poor Honey-Bear, he wants a child so bad he can taste it. But he is not doing
anything about finding the right woman to have his child.

I had a second child by my second ex, Roy Mock.
She will be 23 years old soon.

Honey-Bear knows if I were younger I would gladly
have his child, with no marriage attached to it.
His child is his child. I am just a vessel to carry it.

One thing Honey-Bear does not realize, it is time to move on, time to stop dwelling in the past.
learning to live again, love again, and trust again. He needs to stop being afraid of his feelings and go with them.

I am the one person that will not hurt him, because I have been hurt many times myself. It takes one to know one.

I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving.
If I don't remember to post here, check me out
over at OpenDiary and under the same name as here;AmericanIrishRose.
{Karissa Anne}

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