princesse

the big date

last night as you all very well know, was the big date.
after i finished yesterdays entry, my phone rang. it was
ed, the old boy. he wanted to know what my plans were. i
didnt tell him what i was doing because he would be hurt i
think. so i just told him i was going out with some
friends. he started a fight, as he does quite often, and
upset me. the doorbell rang and there was pete. we drove
around for awhile, and then returned to my house to watch a
movie. the date did not go as well as anticipated. i
couldnt think of anything but ed. i realized that even
though he has problems, and he is working them out, i love
him. i will do anything to keep this relationship working.
i dont know how i am going to do it, but even if it is just
as friends, i need it to maintain. today is turkey day!
ususally i go to my aunts house where there are a lot of
people at dinner, basically all my family and friends that
i only see once a year. but since my father and i are not
talking, i decided to stay home with my mom for the
holiday. i am trying my best to do something for others
this holiday season. living so close to NYC has really
reprioritized my life. people are the most important, i had
taken my loved ones for granted prior to 9/11. i helped at
a community church to make and serve a thanksgiving dinner
to a shelter for battered women and children. it was really
sad to see all those faces that had been hurt by others,
but to hold the babies, and talk with the women really
inspired me. saturday i am working at another shelter also.
it is through my church, and we will cook and serve a
dinner to a homeless shelter in a nearby town. i am sad to
not have the humungeous turkey this year, and all the
fixings, but being around people i can help, and new
friends is better than any thanksgiving. i really took for
granted what i had until now, and i am going to change all
of this for the better.