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THANKSGIVING DAY '01

WELL TODAY IS THANKGSGIVING DAY AND ITS NOT A HAPPY ONE FOR
ME ALTHOUGH MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN VERY GENEROUS AS TO
CLEANING AND EVERYTHING ELSE BUT NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES HE
WILL NOT BRING MY SPIRITS UP,HE HAS ONCE AGAIN HURT ME IN
AWAY I CANNOT FORGIVE HE HAS CHOSEN TO GO TO HIS COUNTRY
FOR VACATION AND INSTEAD OF STAYING WITH US HE HAS DECIDED
TO GO.I GAVE HIM AN ULTIMADIUM HE COULD EITHER STAY HERE
AND SPEND THE VACATION WITH HIS FAMILY OR IF HE LEFT HE WAS
NEVER TO SET FOOT IN MY HOUSE AGAIN SO KNOWING HOW MUCH HE
LOVES ME AND HIS FAMILY HE CHOSE HIS FAMILY OVER HIS
CHILDREN AND WIFE I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO HURT I CANT BE HAPPY
ABOUT THANKSGIVING KNOWING MY MARRIAGE AGAIN IS FALLING
APART EVERYTIME ITS GETTING CLOSER TO ITS END WHY CANT I
JUST LET IT END AND GET IT OVER WITH I LOVE THIS MAN SOOOO
MUCH THAT I CANT BUT I KNOW EVENTUALLY I'LL HAVE TO PUT MY
FOOT DOWN BUT I'M SO AFRAID OF BEING ALONE WITHOUT HIM I
HAVE NEVER LOVE SOMEONE AS MUCH AS I DO HIM.I FEEL ITSOOO
MUCH IN MY HEART THAT HE JUST DOESNT LOVE ME ANYLONGER I
THOUGHT I COULD HANDLE THIS BUT I CANT EVERYTIME IT JUST
GETS ME MORE AND MORE ITS JUST SO AWFUL BECAUSE HE DOESNT
KNOW HOW MUCH HE IS HURTING HOW HE I FEEL INSIDE HOW I'M
JUST BREAKING INTO MILLIONS OF PIECESI'VE GIVING UP ON GOD
ON EVERYTHING ALL I WANT IS FOR MY HUSBAND TO LOVE ME THATS
ALL AND MY CHILDREN BUT SOME HOW HIS LOVE IS MORE IMPORTANT
THAN MY KIDS AND I KNOW IT SHOULDNT BE LIKE THAT BUT THE
WAY I SEE IT ITS TWO DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE THE MOTHER
LOVE TOWARDS HER CHILDREN AND THE LOVE OF A WOMAN TOWARDS
A MAN.I JUST WANNA DIE AND GET ALL THIS EMPTINESS DONE AND
OVER I JUST RECENTLY HAD A FRIEND COMIT SUICIDE AND I CAN
UNDERSTAND WHY HE DID WHAT HE DID.I FEEL SO ALONE AND SO
SCARED AND SO AFRAIDTHIS LONELINESS IS KILLING ME INSIDE.