queenbrat

a brat
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2001-11-21 18:35:25 (UTC)

why me????????

why do i always have to be the one that always ends up
being hella confused? i want to leave and live on my own
and be by myself. without anyone trying to tell me what to
do when i dont want thier opinion.
but at the same time i want to be around people that i love
like my family and my friends. i want to be near the people
that i care about. even thought they always seem to get on
my nerves and that i want to get away.
deep in my soul i know that i want to be here just figuring
out how. how i will deal with all the people that make me
mad.
i want to stay with george but at the same time he gets on
my nerves. i think that i want to give him a second chance
and that he is sweet even though there are things that
bother me.
i can always find a way around all these problems. i just
need to figure it out. i know that i will.
i just dont want to let myself down by making a bigger
mistake than i already have.
i dont even know that what i have done is a mistake yet.
because i know that i hurt him and i feel bad even though i
feel that he deserved it because he always makes it out to
make me the bad guy.
i dont know if we should just stay friends or what because
i want to be free and i want to see who the other fish in
the sea are.
i know that this sounds really bad but i know that i could
always cheat. i know that it would eventually make me feel
guilty but at the same time i want to just to see what will
happen.
i am just like the little kid who opens candy in the store
and eats it and never seems to pay for it. for some reason
i always want to see how far i can go with out getting
caught. i always want to find out whats going to far, so i
can see if i can get there without getting caught.
love,
cathy


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