Pandora

Improved

11/21/01

12:45 a.m.
Well, I don't really know what I've eaten today. Too much, I'm
sure. But I'm feeling really motivated. I lost a few pounds. That's
a couple pounds in ten days, and, left to my devices (and it is) I
won't gain any weight this weekend. I don't think I'll eat tomorrow.
Then I won't eat AND I'll go running on Friday. I feel really good,
especially the way I binged today and yesterday. Being home...I
don't know if that'll be harder `cause there's food in the house I
can't control or easier `cause I won't have every whimsical food
wish within walking distance. Either way, not eating much is
working. I think I will start working out though.
Nakumbuka Day. Rob and J. Walking. "For you Umi/Life is not
promised." Justin D. (Leather coat.)J wants to holler. She's worth
it...if he thinks she is, she is. I'm happy for him. Happy for R
and beautiful T. All love. I love everyone; everyone loves me? "I
want my people to be free, to be free, to be free..." Lucky to be in
L.A. Lucky to be at school, to know them, to love them.
J held my face and kissed my forehead. Beauty.

Today I looked at a picture of myself from my shower in
June/looked in the mirror. I saw my potential for beauty. Someday,
I'll be beautiful like I should be. Like my mother in college. I'll
glow with it. And R will talk about me like he does other pretty
girls; my guy friends will see me as a girl; a cute one. Someday.

60 from satisfactory; 72 from perfect.