Joselin The Mexican
2001-11-21 07:59:14 (UTC)


All my uncertainties about Sam and i went away tonight, at
least for a while they do, i really care for him, as much
more than just a friend. Today as i was telling katy about
the sloppy emotional mess in my head she made a point that
maybe Sam and I are just comforted by each other, We are
just 2 people, going though a falling out of love or
relationship who desperately need some one to hold on to
before falling in to depression: Maybe just some one to
hold, something as simple as a soft glance or smile. When
we are alone and he becomes that person i feel so
magnetically attracted to comes out it feels like glory, i
have some one to hold and call my own, that’s all i ever
really wanted. But i also yearn for more than just the
physical and emotional aspect, i need a mental stimulation,
don't get me wrong, he makes me see things from a new
prospective and a totally different angle, but some times i
feel we don’t connect at every level, as if something were
missing, yet I suppose I’m looking for falling in love and
we don't have that. I do love Sam as a friend and as a
person i respect him so much. I’m very glad we have some
time off school to get my thoughts together, all i know is,
he makes me a happy girl, no matter if we are together for
the wrong reasons... What is right and wrong? Just human
concepts right? Right. But then if "right and wrong" isn't
the issue, does that mean i have to think about how MORALY
correct it is to be with some one for reasons that are
relatively right or wrong through the eyes of a western
society??? i sure hope not! I JUST WANT IT TO BE SIMPLE, I
want to be with him, so i will and i will stay with him
until we don't want to see each other in that way. This
means giving up the importance i give to our reasons behind
our actions.
Do these reasons even matter?