Freedom

keeping my hands in the air
2001-11-21 03:52:36 (UTC)

ooh boy....

well, there have been a lot of different events that have
happened since i last wrote in here. ok, well, here's the
first thing. i don't like john nemore because, well, i just
don't. i stopped liking him at some point last week, but
then i found out last friday that he thinks i'm cute and
that he likes me. that made me feel kinda bad cuz i felt
like i've been leading him on. i really did like him at
some point, i just don't like him now. well, that was the
beginning of my interesting weekend. so i had this retreat
at my church...

well, i was actually working the retreat and that was cool
and stuff. well, corey was working too, and i decided that
i'm tired of just sitting around watching him flirt w/ all
his chicks, so i would just forget about him for the
weekend and flirt w/ my other guys. that was ok, but i
think that might have gotten him jealous a lil bit that i'm
not flirting w/ him. well, i met this guy named ryan and
he's a cutie and and half times like 3. he's really nice
and i thought i would like him. but i don't. that was
friday. then on saturday, i started talkin to one of my
buds, mario. he's a really nice guy and is extremely sweet.
his hair is buzzed so i would spend my time rubbing my
hands on his head. he said it made his head feel numb after
awhile. lol. ok, so i like mario and things were great.

sat. nite, we had a confession type of mass and i was
getting all emotional and crying cause i felt really bad
for how i've been treating corey. i would act kinda mean to
him, but at the same time, i loved him just the same.
welll, things brightened up and at this point, i loved
mario and corey. well, on sun. at 3 in the morning, we
watched the meteor shower from my church and it was loads
of fun. i was standing looking at the sky w/ mario and we
were sharing a blanket. *sigh* good times, good times.
well, then he went in to go back to sleep and i stayed for
awhile. then it was me, and some of my buds, mary, diana,
trad, jared, and corey. this was when the trouble
started....

well, it was about 4 in the morning at this time and none
of us felt like going back to bed so we all talked for
awhile and watched corey play solitaire. fun stuff. well,
after awhile, we were all getting tired so we just got our
sleeping bags and went to sleep in the hallway all 5 of us.
(trad left) that didn't make the advisors too happy to find
the team who's s'posed to be leaders for those making the
retreat sleeping in the hallway boys and girls. it looked
bad. they didn't think we did nething, but it could
discourage the parents on what they would think about the
program. well, things now are ok except....

the other nite at youth group, corey looked really upset.
the poor guy. he felt really bad about what happened and he
blamed himself just because he was the oldest. i told him
not to blame himself. i begged him not to blame himself and
he still does i think. well, sunday just wasn't his day cuz
so many things went wrong for him and he felt really
terrible. he had asked me how i was too and that was really
good. while we were talking, we just gave each other the
biggest tightest hug and i told him i loved him. he said he
loved me too. and i honestly meant it. i mean, this was
just more than boy/girl relationship love, but more like,
close friends love.

so that was my great weekend. it actually was tons of fun
except for a few exceptions!! luv ya!!

~topanga