Joshin Jane

mission: me

a) i don't usually know what i want.
when i finally know what i want, i want it hard, and it's
usually unattainable.
the college thing.
the relationship thing.
i want princeton, but my chances are hopeless.
i told my dad this evening, when we were buying milk at
wawa, about my secret aspirations.
i made him promise not to tell mom; she would turn it
around on me.
"well you're the one who wants to go and you aren't doing
everything you could be!"
i push myself enough, and he knows it, but mom isn't very
tactful and doesn't read people too well.

b) do you know that never once when i say i go to make tea
do i ever make tea?
i don't drink tea, actually.
i don't dislike it but i'm not a fan of it.
it's just a comfort, so when i say that i'm going to make
tea, i actually manage to comfort myself.
so it's not that i love lying to you, i think i'm just
comforted by lying to myself.

c) becky, you're seriously the best, and i will try to love
carey....
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