kellykate

Life of a rockstar....NOT!
2001-11-21 02:25:36 (UTC)

Me

Hello everyone. This is me~ Kelly Kathleen Stokes of
Illinois. I am now 15 and a freshman at WCHS this year. My
life is very complicated right now, and for my personal
self, I am just a big pool of feelings. I have been going
thru some pretty tough times this year. I used to be the
one that everyone would come to when they needed cheering
up and I was always the one that was constantly happy and
smiling no matter what was happening. My friends say I'm
still like that, and they don't know how I do it, but I am
such a different person now and I just want to go back to
the way I used to be. Well, whats the news with me...well
my parents have been fighting all the time now, and my mom
is meeting with an attorney next Tuesday about the whole
thing. Thanksgiving is in 2 days, and I can't wait, but
just thinking about it makes me all upset because for all
the years that I can remember, we have had our family
celebration at my house with all my aunts, uncles, and
cousins, but this year we are having it at my aunt Carol's
instead because of all the stuff going on at our house. My
mom doesn't know this, but it makes me very very sad
thinking about it now just because...well I guess I don't
really know the whole of it, but all I do know is that it
upsets me soo much not having it here. And to make all
matters worse, I'm kinda feelin like I don't really have
any friends right now, and I don't know who I can turn to.
But this last weekend, November 16 and 17, was the best
weekend of my whole life. I went to this thing called ICTC
with my friends Rebecca, Kara Jo, Erica, Lyndsi, Nick, and
Julianne and their youth Ministers Nick and Christine. We
went down to Springfield to the convention. We stayed at
the Hilton right across the road from the Convention
Center. When we got there, we checked into our rooms after
unloading the van, and then took a few pictures and went to
the center to get our tickets/wristbands etc. When we got
there, it was flooded with teenagers and other people. We
got our wristbands( which are blue), and went in and got
seats for our first worship session. The gropu Circadian
Rythm was leading the sessions. They played songs while we
all sang and came together, and then there were some
speakers that came to give us different lessons about Jesus
and about our lives today. It was literally the thing that
awakened me and made me be become the Christian I am now.
There were several lessons that we learned during that
night, and then after the worship was over, the group Audio
Adrenaline came and performed a concert for us all. Me and
Becca and Jewlz and Erica went into the front hoping to get
a spot in the mosh pit, but when we got up there, there was
no way for us to get in there. But then, these two really
hott and nice guys, Ryan and Matt, came up to us and
started talking to us and helped us get to the very front
of the pit! Ju and Erica got too hot, so they went back,
but me and Becca stayed for a long time, moshing and
dancing and singing and talking to the guys. Then it
finally go too much for us to take, so we went to get some
air. Out shirts were totally soaked through with sweat and
we went outside just to cool off. We layed outside on the
concrete forever just talking and laughing and watching all
the people walk by. When we decided to go back inside, we
saw Lyndsi with these two cute guys so we went up to talk
to her and them..they live in Lincoln and are really nice.
Then it was time for us to go back to the hotel, and we all
went in and got our stuff settled, and then we went and got
candy and soda from the vending machine. When we got back
to the room, we got in our Pjs, and then Nick and Christine
gave us a little talk about everything we learned that
night, and what we could and couldn't do at the hotel.
Then, we went down to the lobby to play a few rounds of
spoons before our 12 o'clock cufew. We had so much fun, we
asked all of the guys that walked by to play with us, but
Ju scared some of them away, cuz her voice was lost and she
talked like a gruff man.lol. But then these guys started
playing with us who had a room right above us room 1609
their names were Jeff Caleb Briggs and there were others
too. They were really nice, and Jeff was really really
hott. Then we were told by security to go upstairs and play
for awhile. So we did, and we got free pizza.haha. And then
we went up to room 1609 to talk to the boys. They were all
really nice and then one of them came out with a fake gun
and started shooting~ It was sooo scary but hilarious! Then
it was time for us to go back to our rooms, but Jeff said
he would call us, and he did, like 10 times the last one
being at about 330 AM! We got hardly any sleep that night,
we stayed up just talkng and having a good time. Then in
the morning we all took showers and talked to Jeff on the
phone one last time. He told me and Becca that we were MUY
BONITA AND MUY GUAPA.lol we were like sweet a hott guy
thinks were pretty! When we got to the convention center,
we went in and got really good seats this time for the
woshiping. Then, when the people taught us a lesson, it was
all about neglecting God and being forgiven for your sins
and everything. At the end, my eyes got filled with tears
and I started to cry, so did Julianne. It was just so
touching. He's so merciful, no matter what you do, if you
realize that it was wrong and ask for forgiveness, it will
be forgiven. Then we went out to lunch. We hit a pizza
place in downtown, got our pizza, and then walked back to
the center. We got in, and got even better seats, and then
more worshiping started. This was the saddest and best part
of the whole trip. You could just feel God's presence in
the room, and you didn't have to worry about anything that
was going on at home the whole time, it was just all about
getting closer to God and becoming a better Christian.
Towards the end, we all started holding hands as we sang
and swaying back and forth. This is when most of us broke
down. We all were crying cuz we didn't want to leave ever.
It was the best I've ever felt, just knowing that they were
all there for me and that we'd always remember that
weekend. I am still wearing my wristband, and I don't plan
to take it off. We all realized, that when we take it off
its like admitting that its over, and we don't want to so
we aren't taking them off. It's hard being back, just
thinking about how now all the stress from everything is
back. But hopefully I will be okay.

Heart of Worship~
When the music fades, and all this stripped away, And I
simply come, Longing just to breathe, Something thats of
worth, That will bless your heart.
I'll bring you more than a song, For a song in itself, It's
not what you have required, You search much deeper within,
Through the way things appear, You're looking into my heart.
I'm coming back to the Heart of Worhip, And it's all about
you, It's all about you, Jesus. I'm sorry Lord for the
things I've made it, and it's all about you, it's all about
you Jesus.
King of endless worth, no one could express, how much you
deserve, though I'm weak and poor, all I have is yours,
every single breath.

Breathe~
This is the air I breathe, This is the air I breathe, your
holy presence, living in me.
This is the air I breathe, This is the air I breathe, your
holy presence, living in me.
And I, I'm desperate for you, And I, I'm lost without you.
I'm lost without you.
This is my daily bread, This is my daily bread, your very
way spoken, to me.
This is my daily bread, This is my daily bread, your very
way spoken, to me.
And I, I'm desperate for you, And I, I'm lost without you.
I'm lost without you
And I, I'm desperate for you, And I, I'm lost without you.
I'm lost without you. I'm nothing without you.

Kindness~
Open up, the skies of mercy, Rain down, the clensing flood,
Healing waters, rise around us, and hear our cries Lord,
let em rise.
Open up, the skies of mercy, Rain down, the clensing flood,
Healing waters, rise around us, and hear our cries Lord,
let em rise
It's your Kindess Lord, that leads us to repentance,your
faith oh Lord, is our desire. It's your beauty Lord, that
makes us stand in silence, your love, your love, is better
than life.
We can feel, your mercy fallen, you are turning, our hearts
back again, hear our praises, rise to Heaven, draw us near
Lord, meet us here.
It's your kindness Lord, that leads us to repentance, your
faith oh Lord, is our desire. It's your beauty Lord, that
makes us stand in silence, your love, your love, is better
than life....


Those were the songs that touched me the most the whole
weekend. This might all seem boring and dumb to you, but it
was the best weekend of my life. Words can't even describe.