Don Juan

Fucked-up-ville
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2001-11-21 01:33:47 (UTC)

impregnated

How am I suppose to feel when someone that I cared so much
for a long time ago gets pregnant? ok... let me explain:
When I first moved here... no one really paid that
much attention to me. But there was a girl that used to
follow me around all the time. I eventually broke down and
asked her out. She was so happy. Although I had a little
'bad' streak running down my back, it wasn't nearly as bad
as it is now. Even then I hid my true self to everyone...
so it's not a new thing. She didn't know I smoked, cussed,
or drank. She just liked the person I let her see. Then I
started caring for her too much. She was so wonderfully
naive. We eventually broke up because I didn't want to
drag her down with me because even then I knew where I was
heading. Plus she couldn't handle my constant flirting
with other girls... even though she said she was fine with
it as long as I 'ate at home.' When we broke up, she found
out about the real me somehow. Ever since she found out...
she's been going down hill faster than me. She's slept
with so many guys... I don't want to think about it. And
now, she even finds herself pregnant. How am I suppose to
feel about that? She was the perfect Christian girl when I
went out with her. Now, she's more like Satan's perfect
child. Just like me I guess. I can't help but feel bad
because I know that I played a factor in that. If I hadn't
been such a bad influence... could she have made it through
her teenage years without a kid? I don't know... I just
feel bad now. I can't help it.


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