kokoro no yokubou

scumble on tortured color
2001-11-20 20:26:58 (UTC)


I've never really been the type to do this kind of thing --
write an online diary, i mean. I don't even have the
patience to keep up with a real diary for more than a day
or two. But then again, maybe this is easier; i'm sure that
it's going to be easier on my wrist, at least.
I'm 17, and supposing that the two aren't mutually
exclusive, i'm pretty damn jaded as well. There's seemingly
interminable hype about your senior year of high school and
all the socio-academic glory therein -- i've heard it from
friends, parents, teachers, you name it. And yet somehow,
the reality of it is immensely depressing. There's more
work than i've ever had, most of which i actually have to
do this time around, the parties are stale, and frankly i'm
writhing in my skin to leave and go off to college. i've
been at the same godforsaken school with the same surface-
skimming girls for almost eight years now, and it's
beginning to grate on my oh-so-delicate nerves. High school
has become exceedingly passe at this point. Do i sound like
a whiny brat yet?
it's not that i think that kind of thing is all there is to
life. Being mired in an uninspirational environment is
hardly the most difficult thing i've been through -- i've
had three major surgeries, two of which happened within
half a year between sophomore and junior year. And while
other girls were pinching their thighs and primping their
hair i had the joy of slathering vitamin E on a four-inch
scar. Thankfully, though, it wasn't visible in a miniskirt
and backless top; otherwise my southern city social life
might have suffered. teenagers can be unforgiving that way.
So now that my scar has healed, and every decent guy i've
ever known has been at college for two years already, i'm
ready for the clean-slate fresh start of a chilly east
coast university. and the backstabbing femme fatales that i
hang out with are getting tired.
But high school politics is hardly the sort of topic on
which i want to waste this empty space. Well, not with any
sort of regularity. Problem being, i'm not going to have
anything to write about unless i'm prompted or inspired to
do so; but i'll give it my best shot. i wonder if anyone
outside of the author really reads these things...