Kim

Look On The Lighter Side...

You know you have a sense of humour when you can take a
very serious situation that at times can hit a very raw
nerve and laugh at it...Kinda like touching a face that has
been stripped of skin revealing tender flesh. I have this
character that I have used to help ease many a tension and
add a lighter note to many a situation..I've prided this
character in a way that at times she is real and very much
mine. Maybe some of her is me..But I'd prefer to think
she's just a deliciously fun extension of my daggy nature.

A good friend of mine asked if she could have a go at using
good ol Jenny for a news report and yes, I was hesitant as
I must say a character you develop over years is very much
your own, a part of you. And you worry they will go ahead
and do it better than you ever could. But I went ahead and
said yes and this is what my very good friend Melissa
produced. We both shared a laugh that no one else can share
with you unless they are in the same situation And I must
say..I laughed, and laughed and laughed...But I can't post
it anywhere else, but here for it's very much inhouse and
no one really much will understand it, but I feel it needs
to be out someplace else other than locked away in my
files. And it reads like a true Jenny Sherwaffle..Couldn't
have done it better myself...

Hello this be Jenny Sherwaffle live and uncensored with my
very own talk show.. me be taking a break from reporting
for a while and this seemed like a good money maker..
ahem.. today we take a look at online relationships and we
have guests mel and kim with us..

Jenny: so Kim you have an online relationship, and have
been having one for years am i correct?
Kim: yes that's right jenny
Jenny: and how do you cope with the
stress of not meeting your loved one?
Kim: oh usually banging my head against a brick wall..and
also go on chat shows and things..you know just
to get it all out
Jenny: and do you feel the stress may be taking years
off your life?
Kim: no i think it's prolly more the banging of my head
against a brick wall that does that
Jenny: and you mel, do you have an online girlfriend
Mel: ummmm don't know..kind of
Jenny: you don't know?
Mel: well she doesn't talk to me at the moment
Jenny: i see, so you are having an online relationship with someone
who doesn't talk to you? and you have no contact with this
person whatsoever?
Mel: yes that's correct Jenny [fidgeting]
Jenny: don't you think this is taking the long distance
relationship to an extreme?
Mel: yes jenny but i like to push myself you know
Jenny: i see...and what kind of person is it who you are
having this 'relationship' with
Mel: well jenny, she's a 30 year old deaf wing chun
expert who has leukaemia and got her enormous fortune by
winning powerball

*The crowd is silent and everyone stares at mel
Mel: what?
Jenny:oooooookay. and kim lilly is also your best friend?
Kim: ummm yes, i think so
Jenny: you think so too?
Kim: well she doesn't talk to me either but we're pretty
damn solid Jenny
Jenny: well i think we have a little surprise for
you two girls here today..there's someone you've been
wanting to meet for a very long time backstage
*Mel bounces around in her chair and kim puts
her hands over her mouth and gasps
Jenny: shall we bring them out guys?
*Audience: jenny jenny jenny
The curtain is parted and two computers are
wheeled out, one labelled jen and one lilly
kim: WHAT THE FUCK???

*Mel and Kim start shouting obscenities at Jenny and the
audience, mel throws a chair at the lilly computer and the
audience chants and cheers as we cut to Jenny escaping
backstage talking on her mobile phone Jenny: get me out of
this bernie...this shit is just too weird...online
relationships my ass...get me my reporting job back...