Birdy: Where am I now?
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Today was a horrible day...
Today was a horrible day. First, I had to go to the gyno.
It hurt so bad! It burned! They told me I wouldn't even
feel it...They lied. My mother said it was because I was a
virgin. I have to take a pill that will give me my period
and then I have to take birth control. I have to have tests
done on my blood sugar on Saturday. I hate this. I told
Amanda and she asked me if the Dr. stuck anything "up
there" and I was like, "Yeah, her finger and a q-tip."
Amanda goes "Ewwwwww, a girl fingered you!" I told her not
to say anything, but God knows with her. I am praying that
she won't say anything though. I trust people too much.
Anyway, it was so tramatizing that I was practically a
zombie when I went to school. Well, my english teacher, who
is a total bitch, gave me a dirty look because I missed her
class, like it was my fault. I hate her! So, I was a mess
by the time Earth Science came around. I cried there, and
Josh tried to make me feel better. He can be such a
sweetheart! Well, Brian thought I was crying because of
him, but it wasn't even close to the reason. He came to my
locker and asked me if it was him or Kate and I said that I
was just having a bad day. He said he was sorry and walked
away. Later that day he came over to me and said that he
thought he knew why I was so upset. That it had to do with
Kate and I was mad and that was why she wouldn't go out
with him. I was like, "No, that's not it." and he was like,
yes it is, and walked away. What nerve!If he says anything
to me tommorow, I'll let him know exactly what I think.
Kate didn't even act sympathetic at all. She just kinda
laughed it all off. Even Karen stopped laughing for five
seconds while I relived the horror to them. Uggh. She makes
me sooooo mad sometimes!
Well, when I walked into tech, Isaac goes "Pregnancy
problems?" and I go "Maybe." and I'm qiet and he
goes "Something wrong with your vaginal area?" and I
go "Your good Isaac." and that was that. Wierd huh?
I saw Jeremy's ring today. It's beautiful! But moreso,
he's beautiful. He grew his hair longer and he has contacts
now. He acted as if he didn't know me. It hurt. Maybe, it's
time for me to forget. To just pause and keep my life to
myself for a while. I don't need Jeremy, I've proven that.
I don't need any guy...All I want in life is to be free. I
want to be myself, my birdy self...I want to fly.